Anyway. It's Jeremy's opinion that the gang should want to change their luck, since their future is so uncertain. This scene made my head spin because everyone left the hallway to start walking through the newsroom, but everyone was walking really fast, like power-walking through the newsroom, and Dana looked like a shampoo commercial with her hair flying behind her as she zoomed all over the place, and meanwhile everyone behind her was weaving around desks and poles and people, and it was like this giant Walking While Talking scene slalom with everyone's arms swinging wildly and I had to go lie down. Dana yells to everyone, "Anthony's, I'll meet you there," but I figure all the extras knew that invitation didn't really apply to them.
Back from commercials, we are now in Anthony's, and I suppose this streak is merely an excuse for not having another bar set for the show. Even though the Tertiary Characters were invited, they are still not allowed to forget their status as Tertiary Characters, because they have been relegated to their own table and it isn't even next to the table where the main characters are sitting. It reminded me of Thanksgiving dinners when I was a kid and all the kids had to sit together at the stupid small table with the fold-out legs with stupid ducks and stupid geese on it, and all the adults got the good pieces of the turkey and there was never any skin left for me. The opening-credits cast is discussing the fact that they're screwed if the winning bid comes from Time-Warner, Fox, or Disney because they all have their own cable sports channels already, like what a cheery little gathering this is. "These guys need another sports channel like they need a hole in the head," says Casey. Jeremy says that the only three guys bidding on the network will sell off CSC for parts, completing the tag-team stomping of Dana's and Natalie's optimism.
Speaking of holes in the head, Dan wanders over to the TCs' kids table -- mingling with the commoners, as it were -- and he interrupts whatever conversation they might have been having to talk about the "desperate times" and compares it to when people head off to war, and he pulls up a chair and sits betwixt "L'il" Kim and "T.C." Elliot. He asks, rhetorically, if the TCs know what people do in times like these. T.C. Elliot says, "They band together?" and surprisingly, Dan doesn't smack him for his audacity. "They sleep with each other," says Dan, and it is a huge shock to me that Dan is thinking of his penis right now. Dan puts his arms around L'il Kim and T.C. Elliot. "It's not that I'm not flattered, Danny . . ." says Elliot and Dan says, "I understand," and turns his full phallic attention to Kim, and just try to imagine the possibilities for Kim's character should HBO land this series. "Danny," says Kim, "only you would take an occasion like this and turn it into an opportunity for sex," and Dan concedes that he is indeed gifted, but that really wasn't why he came over -- he came over to tell Kim she's the best secretary he ever had. Kim thanks him and then tells him she isn't his secretary. "When did that happen?" asks Dan, confused, and Kim informs him that she never was his secretary. "I thought you were my secretary," says Dan, looking sad, but probably because he realizes he's not getting any from Kim tonight. "Yes, I know," says Kim. "I've always treated you like my secretary," says Dan. "Yes, I know," says Kim. She doesn't seem mad, she just smiles a sadly indulgent smile like she never had the heart to tell Dan to stick it. "Okay," says Dan, and then he mumbles some excuse and leaves, tucking his penis between his legs, and Kim goes back to drinking her martini. You know, Kim's no shrinking violet and I find it really hard to believe she'd never told Dan she wasn't his secretary.