As we fade in to Isaac's office, Isaac is on the phone with some guy, saying they'll treat his client very well. He hangs up, absolutely giddy. "We got him?" says Dana. "How much do you love me?" asks Isaac. "We got him?" says Dana again, and Isaac asks again how much she loves him, and he says it about fifty times as they start dancing around Isaac's office, celebrating the fact that they got some football player named Christian Patrick for an interview. "In our studio, tomorrow night at eleven!" yells Isaac. Dana takes a step towards Isaac and says, "I am so hot for you right now." Wow, way to cross the line, Dana. "We gotta promote the hell out of this, Isaac," says Dana, and he makes his way to the phone, and she keeps going on about how they have to promote it, and he says, essentially, "Well, duh." Dana calls it a "coup" and says, "This is moving day!" She skips out of Isaac's office.
In the newsroom, we see Dan conferring with the TCs, saying, "I'm thinking seriously about doing it." One by one, the TCs say they don't think it's a good idea. "I want this now," says Dan. "This is important to me. I'm an adult and I want to grow a goatee." Thank god, Dana runs up and asks Dan how much he loves her. He says he wants to grow a goatee, and she tells him it would be a very, very bad idea and asks again how much he loves her. He says he thinks a goatee would look good. She says he'd look like Colonel Sanders and then asks again how much he loves her, and he says, "A little less then I did before the Colonel Sanders thing." So she tells him they got Christian Patrick, and he gives her a double high-five and says they have to promote the hell out of this.
Next, Dana searches out Natalie, and here we go again with this "how much do you love me" nonsense, like, it's a minute into the show and I'm ready to kill someone. To her credit, Dana seems to get tired of it, so she just tells Natalie that tomorrow night she's going to do a pre-interview at the Meadowlands. "Since when do we do pre-interviews?" asks Natalie. "Since we booked Chris Patrick," says Dana. "Seriously?" squeaks Natalie. "Tomorrow night we are going to win our time slot in fourteen major markets for the first time since we went on the air," says Dana, and asks if that's the kind of thing she'd be inclined to joke about. Natalie says no, "but then you're generally not inclined to joke about much of anything at all," and this causes Dana to have a momentary anxiety attack. "Are you saying I don't have a sense of humour? Never mind." Then she gives Natalie her instructions. She's to interview Patrick right after tomorrow's game, and then Dana needs her ninety minutes before showtime. Natalie wonders why Dana isn't sending Jeremy, but Dana doesn't really answer; she just says Natalie will do fine. "Show me a list of the questions, and don't play softball. This man is a convicted felon [there's a rarity in the NFL] and he's talking to us and no one else, so let's make this count, you got it?" Natalie says yes. "This show has lived in third place long enough," says Dana. "It's moving day!" Oh, so that's what that means. Well, Dana's excitement is kind of infectious. Natalie calls her "wild," and Dana agrees and then says, "I have a terrific sense of humour, I know lots and lots of jokes," and she says it the way a second-grader might say, "My mommy says I'm special." Natalie agrees, and Dana sends her off to get to work, and then Dana starts doing imaginary play-by-play in which the networks are racecars, and then it's the standard Sports Night time-filler in which the character talks to him or herself and then realizes it and acts all embarrassed before slinking off.