Sports Night
Napoleon's Battle Plan

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B+ | Grade It Now!
Word of mouth

Fade up on Dan and Casey's office, where the two anchorknobs are standing pantsless and looking sheepish. They start jabbering at each other in one of those "here we are -- pantsless" conversations which for me usually signifies that the date's going really well. "We're two grown men, with important jobs, who are standing in our underwear," says Dan. Then he suggests that they sing a song. Casey's response is to pick up the phone and tell someone they could use a little wardrobe.

Dana is happily humming around the studio. She enters the control room, with last-minute preparations going on, but takes the time to ask Jeremy what he thinks. "About the camera?" he says. She says it's not just a camera, it's a "Soshi Sentak RTS-3," and she starts running down the specs, while Jeremy's biggest concern seems to be telling a bunch of people that "Stephon Marbury has four fouls." Finally he turns his attention to Dana and asks if she actually takes pictures or knows anything about cameras. "Not as such, no," admits Dana. "But you're thinking about buying one," says Jeremy. She is. As Dana takes her seat, Natalie comes in, and Dana tells her they need the first team in the studio. Natalie says they're working on it.

Meanwhile, the first team is still standing pantsless in their office, which I'm sure is just fine with any number of Sports Night's viewers. But now Dan is asking Casey whatever happened to his plan -- the plan to break up Gordon and Dana's engagement. Casey gets all shruggy as he admits there's not a plan, but feebly defends himself by saying it wasn't for lack of trying. "I think it was," says Dan. They bicker about it for a moment, with Casey insisting that he tried, and Dan pointing out that try or not, he has no plan, and me saying, "Do or do not, there is no try," except I can't remember if that comes from Yoda or Mr. Miyagi. Casey admits to not having any plan. Dan just stares out the office window, then asks Casey if he thinks the people across the street are looking at them in their underwear. Casey looks over his shoulder. "Yes, I do," he says. Big surprise, coming from Captain Ego.

In the control room, Dana asks Natalie where Dan and Casey are. Natalie explains that they're waiting for their pants. "Both their pants?" says Dana. "Was there an industrial accident?" Natalie explains that wardrobe is pressing the pants. Dana says they have no time and sends Kim to get them, saying they'll get them their pants at the first commercial break, which started me wondering why their pants even need to be pressed, since they're only shown waist-up anyway. Then Dana says none of this would be happening if she had her Soshi Sentak RTS-3, and her repetition of this phrase already has that blood vessel throbbing above my left eye.

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Sports Night




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