Sports Night
Ordnance Tactics

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Bombast

Dan and Casey follow Dana, whining about the bomb scare the whole time, and Dan wants to know if they're just following the herd or if they were actually given the all-clear by someone. Dana is trying to calm them by explaining that the police didn't find anything. Casey, who's clutching a football through the whole scene, points out that it's a huge building and the bomb squad only searched for an hour and twenty minutes. "I can't find my car keys in an hour and twenty minutes!" yells Dan. Oh, and you know what else? Isaac had a stroke. Would you mind addressing that soon, please? Dana, busy getting the show ready, says the police have very advanced bomb-finding techniques, and I hope the police have a more technical name for it than "bomb-finding," because I'd hate for my building to be searched by the Bomb-Finding Guys of my local police department. This doesn't pacify Dan and Casey, who want to know what kind of techniques the bomb-finding guys use. Dana, sounding a little less sure, says they use dogs. Dan and Casey flip out and say they want to talk to the dogs. Dana asks them what they'd say. Natalie shows up and says something about some team putting some player on waivers. Dana tells her that that's a story. Dan and Casey point out that another story is that someone tried to blow them up. They follow Dana and Natalie into the control room as Dana calls them the "biggest babies." Casey says, "Yeah, well, you're scared of fish and I'm scared of dying in a hail of shrapnel. Who's crazier?" And that's actually a good point. But finding no sympathy from Dana, the twits turn their attention to Natalie and ask her if the bomb-finding guys looked "really hard," like in the bottom drawer of their filing cabinet, and I think maybe they were a little worried their stash of Penthouse magazines were discovered. Natalie asks Jeremy if everything's fine. He says yes, which is good enough for her, so the boys clamp onto him and move back onto the topic of the bomb-detecting dogs. They ask Jeremy if he knows what a bomb looks like. He says he doesn't. They ask the TCs, and none of them does either. "But we're betting a German shepherd can pick one out!" yells Casey, and this is way past tiresome already, and in light of the tragic attacks on the U.S. last month, Casey is really making a big fuss over nothing, so I think I'll skip ahead to Casey saying, "Is there anyone who can say anything that will make us feel like the smart thing to do is to stay in this building right now?" Dana stands up and says, "In ten minutes, three and a half million people are going to tune in to watch the two of you on television. Many of them will be women." The boys ponder this, then say "okay" and shuffle off to get changed. Heh. Commercials.

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Sports Night

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