Dana walks in and tells them there's a new bidder for Continental Corp., but she won't tell them any more since Isaac doesn't trust her to keep information to herself, and that rumours get all twisted up and she's going to prove him wrong. Cut to Isaac's office, where Isaac is holding a stopwatch and saying, "3 . . . 2 . . . 1" and Jeremy barges into his office and says, "Isaac, I don't know if you heard, six this morning there was a bid from an Italian airline called Platypus. Purple monkey dishwasher." "Yeah," says Isaac. "Keep it under your hat, would you?" That Isaac! He knows his staff so well!
Back from commercials, Jeremy, who is carrying a box while he walks with Dan, actually has accurate information about Quo Vadimus. "Back in the early nineties, a guy named Calvin Trayger perfected something called the hard disk controller." Essentially, this device enabled hard disks to be a lot smaller than they were before Trayger invented this thing. He formed a company to sell it and made $100 million by the time he was twenty-five, which I means I have about a month and a half before I reach that milestone to make a staggering amount of money so I can beat this Trayger guy. It can be done! But never mind that, because of course, at about this time, the light bulbs start going off over everyone's heads as the entire Sports Night audience (which is what these days, about twelve people?) thinks, "Aha! That's who Balding Guy With Big Sideburns is." Not Dana, though. Anyway, Calvin started buying companies. Jeremy lists a bunch that may or may not be real, most likely not. Jeremy says six months ago, Calvin formed a holding company for all his businesses. "Quo Vadimus," deduces Dana, who is apparently not completely brain-dead. Jeremy figures a company like Quo Vadimus isn't interested in the show. They're interested in the coaxial cable, guesses Dana. "How did you know?" asks Jeremy, and Dana starts explaining about the guy she met in the bar in more "how obvious is it that this guy is the new bidder" dialogue. But Dana doesn't clue in here. She does finally ask Jeremy why he's carrying the box around, and he explains that he's settling up his affairs. "What affairs?" Dana wants to know. "Whatever we mean by that when we say it," says Jeremy. Then he explains to Dana that last year he went into his office while she wasn't there. There was a pack of Juicy Fruit on her desk. He took it. So now he's replacing it. I wish the son-of-a-bitch who stole my Reese's peanut butter cups from my desk last year were as moral as Jeremy. Dana accepts the gum. Then Dana tells Jeremy she's going for lunch and tells him to ask Dan and Casey what it will take for them to give her some draft copy. Kim passes by. Jeremy accosts her and gives her back her seven-minute ab video, which cracked me up, and Kim kind of rolls her eyes. Which reminds me -- if the girl (who I won't embarrass by naming here) who has my copy of the book High Fidelity would like to settle her affairs, I know I'd appreciate it.