Outside, Natalie walks over to Jeremy and wearily starts in on how thankful she is to be dating such a mature guy. He smiles and nods, and doesn't say a word. She stares at him for a few moments, then tells him to swallow the eggnog. "I just can't," he says, and as he opens his mouth, the eggnog spills down his shirt. Wah wah! Commercials.
The TCs have not moved. At all. And now, for some reason, Kim starts going on about Salarino and Salanio from The Merchant of Venice, who brought news of Antonio and Shylock. And Sorkin is so starved for dialogue that he actually makes Kim ask each of the other TCs in turn if they remember Salarino and Salanio, the venticelli ("little winds"). And since this is the most culturally well-rounded sports crew ever, they all do (well, except for Elliot). Dave says, "Man, this is about as bored as I have ever been in my life." So can someone explain why the audience should be interested? Jeremy strolls up. Kim stands up and says, "Jeremy, good Jeremy, what ho?" and of course Jeremy's all "'what ho'?" and Kim says, "What news?" After a quick, strangely unquestioned explanation about the Merchant tie-in, Jeremy fills them in about Dana and Casey and Gordon and Danny and everything else that's going on. He does a pretty good job of recapping. I mean, he's no Aaron, but let's face it, even Aaron hasn't been himself since Jagr was traded to the Capitals. After Jeremy is done, Dave doesn't look any less bored. He asks if it would be wrong if Sports Night just made up stories. Elliot says it would indeed. That's true, but I don't think anyone would have objected if Sorkin had made up a damn story for this episode of Sports Night.