Oh, god, no. No more clingy, neurotic Dana. I can't take this. It is not fair. I wish I'd seen this episode before Sars and Wing Chun originally asked me to recap Sports Night, because this is too much. My eyeballs are bleeding and my hair is falling out. I want out. I can't do this anymore. I know that it can be healthy to express your feelings, even if more than a couple of girls have told me I'm not very good at that, but there has to be some middle ground between bottling everything up and yakking so incessantly that some poor bastard who has to recap your show wants to gnaw his own hands off so he can no longer write. Don't think I haven't considered it. It's only due to MBTV's lack of medical benefits that I still have opposable thumbs. ["Out of respect for your so eloquently expressed feelings, I will leave that opposable-thumbs line entirely alone." -- Sars]
Calm blue ocean.
Dana asks Natalie if she thinks Casey's been seeing Sally. She asks it THREE TIMES. Natalie says no each time. "Just like that?" says Dana. Natalie's confused, but it's Dana's opinion (and keep in mind that she's a complete lunatic) that Natalie said "no" too quickly, that she didn't seem to think about it at all, when we all know that if Natalie had paused to consider it at all, Dana would be curled up on the floor in a fetal position, MUCH LIKE I AM RIGHT NOW. They discuss how they both think they'd know if Casey were seeing Sally. Yes, because the idea that a person might keep something to himself in this place is a foreign concept. Dana then points out how discreet Casey is and wonders why Casey wouldn't be seeing Sally, who is "the best-looking woman...in the world," and Casey just got out of a ten-year marriage to a "pretty hideous wench." "Wench"? "Wouldn't you be seeing Sally?" asks Dana. And the idea of Natalie seeing Sally provides a moment's respite for me. Dana and Natalie start complimenting each other's body, which was also nice. Then Dana gets all gloomy and points out that Sally hasn't made her advances a secret. "She is 'Sally the Willing,'" says Dana. How nice of Dana to imply that another woman is a slut just because she's interested in Casey. So okay, Sally's a bad example. But still. Natalie puts a smile on Dana's face by telling her she knows Casey isn't seeing Sally, because he cares about Dana and knows it would hurt her feelings. That's great, really nice. I say since Dana is Gordon's girlfriend, her feelings shouldn't be a factor in Casey's decisions about whom he sleeps with. And don't give me any crap about how it's worse because Sally produces West Coast Update, because that's just so much blah blah blah to me.