Sports Night

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B- | 1 USERS: B
Here's the thing

Dan and Casey's office. Dan is practising his putting and asking Casey if he made breakfast for Mystery Sex Woman. Casey says he left because he felt uncomfortable. "You could've fried her an egg, dude," says Danny. Then Danny points out that there's a question he hasn't asked yet, and that's who the Mystery Sex Woman is. Why? Because that's not what men do, apparently. We don't do a whole lot of things that women think we do. Or something. Personally, I think women know a whole lot more about us than we think. But we don't even need to discuss that. It's not relevant. The only thing that matters is that a thirty-second discussion on how men don't ask questions like that only means that we're leading into Dan asking a question like that. Which he does. But Casey won't tell. "We can do this the hard way or we can do this the easy way," says Dan. "What's the hard way?" Shitty James Woods movie? No. Danny hasn't actually figured out what the hard way is, just that the easy way is for Casey to tell him. Casey magnificently refuses to give into this unyielding pressure. Dan suggests whispering it in his ear. "Oh, you know that's not going to happen," says straight-as folk-Casey. Dan suggests writing it down on a piece of paper if that's easier. Casey wants to know why that would be easier, and Dan says maybe the name's difficult to pronounce, but Casey assures him it isn't. I guess it's safe to assume Casey didn't nail Yevgeny Kafelnikov, then. I mean, it's safe to assume Casey wasn't intimate with Yevgeny Kafelnikov, then. Dan acts like this admission from Casey is a major clue. Yeah, good one, Dan. You're Nancy frigging Drew over here.

Oh, god, no. No more clingy, neurotic Dana. I can't take this. It is not fair. I wish I'd seen this episode before Sars and Wing Chun originally asked me to recap Sports Night, because this is too much. My eyeballs are bleeding and my hair is falling out. I want out. I can't do this anymore. I know that it can be healthy to express your feelings, even if more than a couple of girls have told me I'm not very good at that, but there has to be some middle ground between bottling everything up and yakking so incessantly that some poor bastard who has to recap your show wants to gnaw his own hands off so he can no longer write. Don't think I haven't considered it. It's only due to MBTV's lack of medical benefits that I still have opposable thumbs. ["Out of respect for your so eloquently expressed feelings, I will leave that opposable-thumbs line entirely alone." -- Sars]

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Sports Night




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