Sports Night
Sports Night

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B | 560 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Unconfirmed retorts

Dan approaches Natalie and says that this is a big night for her and how everybody's excited for her, lengthy suck-up dialogue that continues as they bob and weave through the control room. "You know I would never question your choice of substitute anchor, right?" says Dan. Natalie knows that, but then again Natalie has never seen an Aaron Sorkin production before with its quirky dialogue one-eighties, as in me saying to Sars, "You know I would never pound my head against the wall in frustration while doing a recap, right? Well, I'm pounding my head against the wall in frustration while doing a recap," and so on. Anyway, Natalie says "Bobbi" is very good, but Dan doesn't dispute that, so Natalie wants to know what his problem is with her. "Bobbi's a lunatic. She's an off-the-charts lunatic," he says. Natalie looks as weary as I feel. Dan says Bobbi's convinced that they slept together once and he never called her. "Did you?" says Natalie. "Did I sleep with her?" asks Dan. "Did you call her," says Natalie. "I didn't sleep with her," says Dan. Natalie isn't buying it, reasonably asking why Bobbi thinks they slept together, and Dan suggests it's because she's psychotic, which, if you ask me, might actually be a reason a woman would sleep with Dan, his House Of Boinking And Skronking notwithstanding.

Speaking of psychotic, we cut to a shot of a waiter's hands depositing a martini in front of some torso, and we see a woman's hands get very agitated as we hear Dana's voice start explaining that she asked that there not be a lemon twist in her martini because she's allergic and this has to be the longest explanation ever given to a waiter, like, how much of a mess is Dana in Gordon's presence anyway that she can't ask for a new martini and be done with it? And speaking of Ted McGinley, the actor considered such poison to a series that he is his own category on Jump The Shark, there he is, saying, "Honey, that's my drink," which only seems to frazzle Dana even further, and she double-checks to make sure he's not allergic too. And I have to say, Gordon strikes me as the type of guy who only refers to the object of his affections as "honey" when he's admonishing her, however delicately. And look! Here's Casey now, trying to make conversation with his date, the rather attractive Lisa. And Casey's gem of an opening anecdote is to say how funny it is that her name is Lisa, since he was married to a Lisa for ten years. To her credit, Lisa's expression manages not to convey, "Yeah, that's fucking hilarious," but she points out that in fact her name is pronounced "Leeza," even though it's spelled "Lisa." But for the sake of reading simplicity, I will now call her Leeza for the rest of the recap. There's nothing I wouldn't do for MBTV readers. Casey counters that his ex-wife both spelled and pronounced it "Lisa," and Casey is really testing the limits of what a first date will tolerate. I expect, by this point, Leeza is thinking Casey is kind of like a big idiot crossed with an even bigger idiot. Fortunately, Dana saves Casey from blabbing on too much about this. It's kind of odd, though, because you'd think Dana would be content to let Casey go on and on about his ex-wife, since it would pretty much negate any chance he has of doing The Big Squeaky with Leeza later on. ["For god's sake, man. Does Ashley know you call it 'The Big Squeaky'? Because I think that's going to make a difference." -- Sars] Gordon proposes a toast, and everybody's drinking a martini except Casey, who is drinking a beer, and he can't even be bothered to put it in a damn glass. I mean, I know glasses are for sucks and all that, but you'd think he'd have enough class not to be swigging straight from a bottle, like, just put it in a Foam Dome, why don't you, Casey? That'll really clear out the ill after-effects you're feeling after watching modern dance.

Sports Night

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