In the studio, Jeremy spots Rebecca coming in and greets her. She asks if Dan's around and Jeremy says he'll get him, but Rebecca starts hemming and hawing and saying maybe he shouldn't if Dan's busy and about to go on the air. Jeremy's all, "You kill me!" and "He's very excited to see you!" Rebecca says, "I know, but --" and Elliot interrupts them briefly to say something to Jeremy. Once he's done, Jeremy turns back to Rebecca: "What were you going to say?" "Nothing," she says. Jeremy now senses that something's amiss and says, "Rebecca?" a couple of times, as she attempts to escape to her office.
Then Dan comes in. He goes giddy with the excitement of seeing Rebecca. He tells her he would kiss her full on the lips, but there are people present and it would be unprofessional. Too bad Natalie's not here for this. Anyway, he turns around and says, "Leave, people!" making Rebecca giggle. Then he tells her he has to go get some gifts for her. She watches him go, smiling. Jeremy also watches him go, thoughtful. He turns to Rebecca. "What were you going to say?" he says. She stops smiling. "I think I should tell Dan first. Don't you?" Jeremy apprises her coolly. "Yeah," he says. And heading back onto the killing floor is Dan. "I'm back!" he says, carrying gifts, including wine and flowers. Jeremy tells him he's on soon. Rebecca jokingly tells him she has a hot tip for him; she overheard some people talking on the plane, and Dan should keep his eye on Barry Bonds because she hears he's good. How many times can Sorkin make this joke? Then she mistakenly says he plays for the San Diego Giants (Dan corrects her), who are also going to be good. Hang on -- bomb threats, Jerry Falwell, Barry Bonds. When did this episode air, again? Dan says the Giants will be good, just not this year. "What about Barry Bonds?" says Rebecca, like, would you quit with the small talk and just pull the damn trigger here, Rebecca? Dan points out that Bonds can't bat before or after himself, and can't play right field and pitch at the same time. As he explains this, he finally realizes Rebecca is staring at him with a Bad News Imminent smile, and he says, "Uh oh." And after about five hours, Rebecca says, "Yeah." "Going back to Steve?" asks Dan. "He's my husband," she says, by way of explanation. Then she tries to do that thing that women do when they dump a guy -- that is, they try to tell him what a great guy he is, in the mistaken belief that it will make him feel better about getting dumped. Dan tells her to cram it. I mean, not in those words; he does it politely. So she finally thanks him, and he says it was his pleasure, and he looks like he even means it. Rebecca looks like she's going to cry and finally says, "Steve's waiting downstairs." "Tell him hi," says Dan. Rebecca turns to go, then turns back and says, "These people really seemed to think the Giants were going to go all the way this year," and please, Sorkin, don't do this to us now, because, honest to God, I promise you we get it. "They're wrong," says Dan quietly. What did I just say? Rebecca walks away. Dan closes his eyes for a moment, then puts the gifts down on a nearby table and walks away. Dude! Return the abacus!













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