As the crew comes in, Dana asks them if they know anything about cricket. None of them do (well, other than Dana-wannabe Natalie, who knows the players drink tea). Dana tells the gang that some cricket guy in New Delhi did something big, but Jeremy won't tell them what. Jeremy protests that it's just that he doesn't understand. Natalie asks him what happened. "He took all ten wickets in one inning," he says. "What does that mean?" asks Natalie. Jeremy doesn't know; he just knows that's big. Dana, instead of nipping this in the bud, tells Elliot to get on the international wire and get the lowdown on the cricket match (which she mistakenly says was in Tripoli, causing Jeremy to freak out and correct her by saying that the guy he was talking to was in Trinidad and the match was in New Delhi, yet he still hasn't explained why he was talking to a guy in Trinidad about a match in New Delhi, other than for Dana-wackiness purposes). Jeremy tells Elliot that the cricket dude's name is Chauncey St. John; Sorkin obviously searched for the most blatantly English name he could come up with, and I can't wait for next week's subplot about an amazing darts match in an Irish pub in which star darts player Mickey O'Begorrah does something amazing.
Dan comes in, and Dana asks him if he knows anything about cricket. "Ah, cricket. The game of the intelligent sportsman," he says warmly, before he admits to not knowing a thing about it, but I'm sure we all saw that coming. "This guy in New Zealand took all ten rickets in one inning," says Natalie non-helpfully, prompting another Jeremy spaz all "wickets!" and "New Delhi!" He seems to be taking more than a healthy interest in this match, and I'm starting to wonder if he just found out his mom had an affair with a cricket player or something. Then we'll be all set for a weepy speech towards the end of the episode where he can tell Natalie that he just wants to understand the rules of the game and what he'll really mean is that he's looking for some guidance in his own life. Near tears, he'll say, "Natalie, I just want to take my own wickets. I want to know how to take my own wickets." Then he'll turn and see the entire Sports Night gang standing there, listening to his speech. "How long have you guys been standing there?" he'll ask. "Long enough," Casey will say. Then, when J.J. comes to foreclose on the building, Elliot will find a bag of diamonds that he managed to snag from the pirate ship they were all on before for some reason, and they'll all be like, "Eat it, J.J.!" and the Sports Night gang will get to stay together after all. Or maybe the next time The Family Channel reruns Goonies, I shouldn't watch it. Anyway, Casey now comes in and asks what's going on. "Don't ask," Jeremy warns him, but Dana recounts everything we know thus far about the cricket match, impressing Jeremy.