There. Now everybody's happy.
This episode of Sports Night starts off with Dan in his therapist's office and he is doing that thing that TV characters do with their shrinks, which is pretending that they don't need a session when generally they need one more than ever; and of course Abby is doing that agreeable shrink thing that therapists do to try to draw out their more messed-up clients, i.e. Dan Rydell. I think Abby can tell something is wrong with Dan because he hasn't shaved today and his hair's not brushed. Dan makes to leave and Abby asks him what time he has, like get a clock, Abby, and Dan says, "29, 8 and a quarter," so of course Abby says, "What?" and Dan gives his head a shake and says, "Five after 10," and Abby says, "Shall we get started?" Dan is still pretending he doesn't need a session and Abby, the ever astute psychiatrist, asks "What's 29, 8 and a quarter?" and Dan says "Nothing," and then we get this quick flashback cut to the SN gang watching something on a monitor and celebrating. At first I thought Dan was breaking down because he got his ass kicked at Celebrities last week, but it's something else, something that happened last night. Abby wants to know what, but Secret Agent Dan says he can't tell her. He explains that it involves the results of a sporting event that happened late last night in New Zealand that CSC is showing on tape delay almost 24 hours later, so Dan can't tell her what the results are. He says the interesting thing is that at the beginning of the week he couldn't care less about it. That's not interesting. Anyway, we now know that this will be the main storyline for this episode, which should be titled "How Dan Came To Care About A Track Meet In Auckland" but it remains to be seen whether or not I'll care. What's interesting to me is that essentially, Dan is recapping what happened this week to Abby, so it's like I'm recapping Dan's recap. Dan says he doesn't really care about track and field. He admires the athleticism and all, but for him there needs to be an opponent. I really hope my track star buddy Nevin didn't watch this episode, since he'd be likely to point out to Dan that there are opponents in track and field, but in some events, competitors take turns. When Abby says it looks like he gets excited about it on television, Dan explains it's his job to look excited and I have to say it was a pretty dumb comment for her to make. Dan says "When it's showtime, it's showtime." Flashback!
Last night's show, we're in the control room. People are saying lots of control room stuff. Jeremy walks in and Dana wants to know what is "in" the computer that he's waiting for. In a surprise move, Dana appears to be poking her nose in someone else's business this week. She points out he's been checking his e-mail all day. Jeremy says he's been waiting for a letter from his sister, when he's probably actually waiting for confirmation from Microsoft that he will be receiving a big fat cheque for helping them test their new e-mail tracking program, or helping a little Dutch boy with polio send his message all over the world, or something. Then Natalie gets a live feed from Auckland where a bald black man named Oscar in a red white and blue track suit is at the "Millennial Games" (whatever). In his best Ladies' Man voice, Oscar says, "Is that Natalie?" and they flirt via long-distance small talk for a while. Oscar admits to being nervous and Natalie asks if he jumps better than he talks and Oscar says, "I do almost everything better than I talk," like keep it in your pants, Oscar, except Natalie only compounds the stupidity by suggesting that Oscar come up and prove it to her. Sounds to me like Natalie wants to do a little pole-vaulting.
At the desk, Casey wants Dan to get excited about the track meet, but Dan sees nothing exciting about a guy jumping far into a pit of sand. Casey explains that the guy's going to break the world record and Dan just kind of whatevers Casey, who predicts that the jump will be "29' 5"" and then a TC snatches script out of their hands just before they go live. Dan gives annoying teasers about the Sharks getting "jiggy" in San Jose and a Shaq attack in Hackensack (OK, I laughed at that last one). Casey gives a teaser to the track meet in New Zealand. Commercials on "Sports Night" and on Sports Night.