Sports Night
The Local Weather

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The Local Weather

Flashback! Last night as the boys wrap up the show. Casey is trying to sell the track and field get-together and all the different types of foods that will be there, which would be all the different types of food Casey had to bribe people with just so they'd hang out with him. Dan is blowing it off since he doesn't like track and field. In Big Booming Annoying Voice, Casey keeps saying "Danny!" which would mean instant death for Casey if he ever took that tone with me. Then Casey has the gall to suggest that he thinks there's a "residual Top 100 thing going on here," except he says it pretty flippantly, and not at all with genuine sympathy or concern -- you know, like you usually get from friends -- even though he knows it was bothering Danny. Dan denies this and Casey hopes Dan will change his mind. Jeremy is sitting at his desk staring at his computer and Dan sits his ass down on the desk and says, "What is going on with you and e-mail?" Why everybody is making it their business to harass Jeremy like this is beyond me. Jeremy, getting less and less dorkily charming and more and more pathetically desperate by the minute, explains that Jenny sent him e-mail saying that she wanted to meet him at a certain place and time, but that he can't make it then, so he e-mailed her back but he can see that she hasn't opened it yet. Dan grills Jeremy about Jenny and when Dan finds out she's a porn star, just says "Oh, man," and walks away from the desk, leaving Jeremy looking very worried.

Back in Abby's office, Dan says he's not sure why he reacted that way. Abby, curled up on the couch with her legs unfortunately covered by some kind of afghan, suggests he was jealous. Dan thinks that over. Then he says, "It rained really hard last night." Flashback!

Jeremy, on his way out, is accosted by Casey, who wants to know where he's going, Jeremy explains that he has to go meet someone to tell them he can't meet them but he'll be back. Casey sees Dana going out and starts hurdling desks to catch her (which was really annoying) and harangues her into picking up the food. Dana is acting really weird -- she's probably pissed that her story was cut this week.

In the bar, Jenny, or Cuteness Personified, shows up and is wet because she didn't know it was going to rain. Jenny is about to order a drink when Jeremy says he sent her a second e-mail that she hadn't read. He launches into this speech: "Look, I don't mind sitting here having a drink with you, but just so you know, there isn't going to be any kind of relationship" like what a truly obnoxious and assumptive thing to say. Jenny gets mad and says "You 'don't mind' sitting here having a drink with me? God, I'm walking on air." Then she busts on him for the other part of his speech and says she thinks he means that he just wants to get drunk with a porn star, go back to her place and not have to worry about it in the morning, which is not at all what Jeremy just said. I have to say, for a porn star, Jenny is pretty hypersensitive to what other people think. Jeremy defends himself and Jenny acknowledges that while it might be tough to explain to his parents what she does (his parents already? Good luck) that it takes more to get her into bed than Jeremy's smooth talk. Jeremy says, "Yeah, unless you're playing the role of Cass, the New Pool Boy." I never saw the sign-up sheet for auditions for that role. Jenny slaps him. "You think I haven't heard that one before?" she cries, and storms out. Uh, Jeremy's probably certain you've heard it many times before, which is kind of the problem, Jenny. He walks out after her to give her his umbrella and she doesn't want to take it. Then she makes fun of him because he can't stand outside in the rain without an umbrella. He annoyingly says that he learned when he was young that if he stood outside in the rain that he'd get wet. The oh-so-fearless Jenny says she learned when she was young that if she got wet she'd dry off. Of course, the umbrella here represents Jeremy's fear of taking chances. 'Scuse me while I yawn at the sky. Jenny blah blahs about getting over fears. Jeremy blows her off by saying, "It was nice knowin' ya, Jenny" and starts to walk off. As Jenny heads back inside, Jeremy points out that she's wearing a raincoat. Jenny doesn't know what he's getting at and he explains that it was raining when she left her apartment so it's not like she doesn't care about getting wet. He suggests that all her blah-blah about not being afraid of the rain is really just to cover up the fact that she feels dumb for not having an umbrella. Whatever, Sigmund Columbo. Then Jenny gives the worst delivery of a line ever and says, "Is it raining? I hadn't noticed." Oh wait, that was Andie MacDowell. Sorry. Still, Jeremy makes a lot of reasonable points about how Jenny passes herself off as free and uninhibited to cover up for things not going as she planned, e.g. "'I have a degree in dance from Juilliard. I make X-rated movies now, but that's how I meant it to be." Jenny looks like Jeremy is hitting pretty close to home with this. She says she's going inside until the rain stops, Jeremy repeats his offer of the umbrella. Jenny declines and goes inside.

Back at CSC, Dana comes back without food because she's been sitting in a church and she's wearing a garbage bag, ostensibly because of the rain, but on another level it's supposed to make her look like the Virgin Mary. I'm really annoyed because ABC has either cut scenes that involved crucial elements like motivation and resolution or they didn't -- either way, the viewer is left confused and mildly insulted at ABC's treatment of this show. The TV Guide award Sports Night just won, the rather accusingly-titled "Best Show You're Not Watching" award should be more accurately called "Best Show Its Network Doesn't Give a Shit About." Dana explains there's something back in church for her. No one cares because she didn't bring back the food. I'm with them. However, there is a funny bit where Dana spies Jeremy and says, "Guess where I've been!" and Jeremy says, "Church," and Dana is all freaked out that he knew, and Jeremy, looking rather nonplussed, says "I was standing right here." It made me laugh really, really hard. It's a good thing. Anyway, the jump is coming on, but we don't get to watch it, maybe because the producers are too cheap to spring for some track footage, or Sports Night blew this week's budget on its exterior sets, so we get the thrill of watching people watch stuff and listening to the audio of Oscar breaking the long jump record. Then we see a clip of Oscar putting his arms up.

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