Then she sits down and says, "I don’t know what you’ve heard about me but I’m here to set the record straight and have the opportunity for a fresh start." You can almost smell the professionalism seeping out of her. Sam informs her that he hasn’t heard anything about her, which she can’t believe. "I was the one sleeping with Gordon," Sally classily tells Sam. "Who’s Gordon?" says a befuddled Sam. "Dana’s fiancé," says Sally. "I didn’t know that Dana was engaged," says Sam. "Well, she’s not anymore," says Sally. "‘Cause you were sleeping with her fiancé?" asks Sam. Reasonable question. "Yes, but really it was because I was sleeping with Casey, and Gordon knew that she was more upset that I was sleeping with Casey than she was that I was sleeping with Gordon." I feel dirty just listening to her. Sam has this "why in God’s name are you telling me this" look on his face. "Were you able to follow all that?" asks Sally. "No, but that’s just because I wasn’t paying attention," says Sam. Whenever I think William H. Macy is as ass-kicking as he’s going to get, he delivers a line like that and becomes even ass-kickinger. Sally, looking mildly embarrassed (yeah, right), says, "Anyway, I wasn’t sure what you’d heard." Sam shrugs and says, "I hadn’t heard anything." Sally stands up and says, "There’s a sense that I’m after Dana’s job." Sam asks if it’s true and Sally says, "Absolutely not," as if. Sam says, "Dana’s job is better than yours, isn’t it?" Heh. Sally says "yeah" and sits back down as Sam lists all the reasons why Dana’s job is better: "More people watch the 11 o’clock than the 2 AM. More responsibility. Makes more money." Each point Sally confirms. "Why aren’t you after Dana’s job?" asks Sam, not unreasonably. Sally’s kind of surprised and says, "Well, I’d like her job, but I’m not after --" Sam kind of nod-smiles. "My point is, I don’t sleep my way up the ladder and I just wasn’t sure what you’d heard." I bet on Sally’s resume, under "special skills," she has "I don’t sleep my way up the ladder," just so prospective employers don’t get the wrong idea right off the bat, before she starts sleeping with everyone. Sam shrugs and repeats that he hadn’t heard anything. Sally says again she doesn’t sleep her way up the ladder and turns to go. Sam, looking at her ass, says, "Too bad," not leeringly but thoughtfully, and it was pretty funny. Sally turns and says, "Sam," and Sam says, "Suzie," and Sally corrects him, "Sally," and Sam shrugs and says, "Okay." Ha ha! Sally was just worried whether this conversation was on the record. Sam says no. Then he says, laughing, "The good news is, an hour from now, I’m not even going to remember who you are!" She kind of laugh-smiles, but it’s clear that she doesn’t think that’s Good News at all. As she leaves, she wiggles her ass in that way that makes each cheek move up and down independently of each other. Sam watches her ass leave.
Next up, the practice interview! Which, contrary to what Sam and Dana think, will not be of any use whatsoever, since it is IMPOSSIBLE to know how an interviewee will respond to any given question and this practice interview serves no function at all except to have Natalie talk in a deep voice while Jeremy pouts about not getting to be Michael, and I guess this is payback for when Jeremy got to be Dorothy Hamill, and I have to say that I’m very impressed with Jeremy and Natalie’s abilities to switch gender roles willy-nilly. Jeremy and Natalie continue bickering with their sorry excuse for a storyline until Dana starts banging her head on the table, and I’m assuming she was disturbed by the sex life of these two with Jeremy as Dorothy Hamill and Natalie as Michael Jordan. I can’t even contemplate it. In the course of the pretend interview, Dan instructs "Michael" to call him "Daniel" in another shout-out to me, prompting Dana to bang her head on the table again. It’s only fair, since Dana often has this exact same effect on me. As this inanity continues, we realize that Kim’s Breasts are only required in these meetings in case the phone rings, which it does, so she answers it. Since the Sports Night writers are now obviously reading these recaps, could you please have someone refer to Kim by her first name so I can be sure that is in fact her name? I just had to guess by watching the credits last week but I’d like to know for sure. Anyway, Kim gets a lot of lines this scene, and she enunciates them very well. It takes a long time, but what happens is as follows: Sam wants to see Dana, she’s busy, he wants to see her now, tell him I’m busy, it’s not a request, it’s a command?, that’s the implication, is this Taming Of The Shrew?, he doesn’t get the reference. This causes Dana to get all excited at the prospect of throwing her Shakespearean knowledge in his face and skips off, even though anyone can guess this is just a ploy to get her to come. When she leaves, Jeremy apologizes to Natalie for being Dorothy Hamill. Natalie says, "Sorry, don’t feed the bulldog, Dottie," whatever the hell that means. I just feel very uneasy right now.