Dana barges into Sam’s office to lambaste him for being such a, uh, um -- for being such a -- hmmm. I guess for being such a person unfamiliar with Taming Of The Shrew. So she stomps on in and rudely puts her feet up on the desk and starts recounting the wedding scene in which the men bet whose wife will come the quickest when summoned. She calls it a beautiful scene and then starts misquoting it, "‘such small payment’" blah blah, and Sam interrupts and says, "‘Too little payment, for so great a debt.’" Dana, wounded (but maybe a little turned on too, I bet), says, "I thought you said you didn’t know the reference." Sam says, "I just needed you to get your ass in here." Ha ha! Dana says, "I’m looking for ways to kill you, you know." Just do him, already, Dana. Sam says, "Dana, I have been through alcohol, marriage, and network television. If you wanna kill me, you’re gonna need Kryptonite." Ho-kay, Sam. Sam tells her that they can stop the interview tactics, since the cologne people want editorial approval, which rightfully outrages Dana. "In a million years, would Fox or ESPN give editorial approval?" Sam says, "No," and it hits Dana square across the jaw why CSC was offered the exclusive interview. They decide to talk to Isaac. Dana accusingly says, "You don’t care, do you? Ratings are ratings, no matter how bogus the ill-gotten gains." Sam says, "I don’t believe I said that, Dana." He walks past her and says, "By the way. Met a girl named Suzie today [heh]. It sounds like she’s the preferred vacation spot for all the men you date." Dana, struggling to keep composed, says, "Sally." Sam smiles, says, "Okay," and walks out. If I could somehow have William H. Macy’s children, I probably would consider it. ["I’d buy a ticket to that." -- Sars]
In Isaac’s office, Isaac is still reading up on space colonization, this time, about searching for signs of life on Europa (one of Jupiter’s moons). Sam displays a remarkable amount of knowledge about Europa. Dana looks at Sam with surprise, as if she’s thinking, "Shakespeare? The moons of Jupiter? Who ARE you, Sam Donovan?" Just do him already, Dana. Isaac and Sam bond for a while until Dana interrupts to tell Isaac about the conditions for the interview. Isaac says CSC doesn’t give editorial approval. Dana says, "That’s right." Isaac asks, "They’re insisting?" Dana says, "That’s right." Isaac says again, "They’re insisting?" Dana says, "Yes." Isaac says, "Well, Dana, if we did it just this once . . ." sending Dana into a justified apoplexy, but Isaac wants to make an exception "for Michael," and Dana lowers the boom that they didn’t go to Fox or ESPN because they figured CSC would be desperate enough for the ratings to do it. Isaac is stunned. "Are we, Sam?" asks Isaac. After a dramatic pause, Sam shakes his head no. Isaac tells Dana, "Then tell them Isaac Jaffee said to go to hell." Yay! Sam grins and Dana says, "Thank you," and they turn to go and Isaac says, "Don’t tell them to go to hell. Tell them that we’re professionals and that we want to be the best at what we do. If anyone can understand that, it’ll be Michael." Quit kissing Jordan’s ass already, please. Dana and Sam leave.