Episode Report CardKeckler: B- | Grade It Now!
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Bacon fried and beans tender, I added the chopped onion, molasses, honey, mustard seed, Tennessee bourbon (the recipe said to use either Tennessee or Kentucky, but I didn't want to deprive the Evil Dr. Mathra of his Wild Turkey stash; plus, Bones said Tennessee in the movie, and I'm all for authenticity), Worcestershire sauce, sea salt, and liquid smoke. I left out one ingredient there, because this is my next issue with the way the recipe is written. The ingredient list says "2 cups beef bouillon stock or water from the boiled beans." It repulsively reminded me that I had a college roommate who used to drink the water left behind from boiling vegetables, so I went with the beef bouillon. Plus, it's more flavorful. That said, I have to admit that Spock, Kirk, and Bones may have had jet-packed ski boots just in case someone fell off a mountain, but I'm sure they didn't actually have any beef bouillon on them and probably used the water. So, I'm using the beef bouillon instead of bean water, and I read the part of the recipe that says, "Drain the beans, but reserve the bean stock if you are not going to add beef stock." Well, I'm using beef stock, or bouillon as it says in the ingredients' list --which in itself is annoying. Seriously, keep your terms consistent if you don't want to confuse the reader/cook. God -- so I throw out the bean water. The recipe goes on to say to "add all the ingredients to the beans and pork, add back half the bean stock and stir thoroughly." Wait, I threw out the bean stock (which is actually called "bean water" elsewhere!) because the recipe said "beef bouillon stock or water from the boiled beans," so what's this now? I thought it was an option. I go along because I just interpret the recipe to mean that I should add half the beef bouillon, but I really think he should have said "add back half the bean water/beef bouillon and stir thoroughly." Next, the veeeery long baking process happens, and I take a break with a really surprisingly lovely glass of rosé from Portugal. No joke! We're not talking about some cloyingly sweet white zin or white merlot or offshoot of that horrible Alize stuff -- this is a kind of wine I learned about in school and wanted to try for the longest time. It's very much like a Rosé d'Anjou -- slightly sweet on the tongue and then dryer on the swallow. But not painfully dry, mind you. Plus, it was bubbly! Not forcibly bubbly like champagne, more gentle than that -- teeny, tiny bubbles. AND it comes in this really cool salmon-colored stone bottle. Love. It.