Episode Report CardKeckler: B- | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
The Taste Test: We stayed up all night for this and oh. My. God. So DAMN GOOD! I never liked baked beans before because they were always soooo sweet (I mean, you'd think they were a Claude Upson daiquiri, Demian!) with all the brown sugar added in. However, these? Perfect. Smoky and just slightly sweet with a nice flavor depth. I can't wait to have Bakula's ribs with these on the side. Editorial quibbles aside, I would totally make this dish again and again and AGAIN! "Cold Tranya" from "The Corbomite Maneuver" Neelix intros this recipe in the following way: "Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, and the too-emotional Lieutenant Bailey first tried tranya onboard the tiny craft piloted by the strange creature named Balock, who was tricked out of his shoes by Captain Kirk's corbomite bluff." Yeah, his sparkly shoes! My big gripe with this drink is -- surprise, surprise! -- the lack of alcohol. Seriously, after that episode, how could this not be a drink that got you mind-numbingly drunk? When Shack had it at Quark's in Vegas, it was pinkish -- exactly the shade I colored it my mind's eye, since EVERY-thing around Balock was pink! -- peachy-flavored, and definitely containing one or more mind-altering liquids. Taste Test: Well, with eight oranges to half a cup of confectioners' (powdered) sugar and a half gallon of ice water, this drink could be nothing but extremely sweet and a bit watery. So there you go. Next time around I'm adding vodka, peach schnapps (or would that be "schnaaaaps," Alex?), rum, champagne, or Pimm's at the very least! Must. Erase. All. Shimmery. Baby. Clint. Howard. Thoughts. From. Mind. "Captain Kirk's Plomeek Soup" from "Amok Time" Now, this came in the TOS section of the cookbook, so I really thought it was the one to follow. First of all, "Kirk's Plomeek Soup"? And that could be since when? That man has to take credit for EVERYTHING, doesn't he? There is absolutely NO REASON IN HELL why this shouldn't be "Nurse Chapel's Plomeek Soup" -- the poor woman had it thrown at her, after all! Please tell me any other time that plomeek soup was made in TOS by Kirk. You can't, can you? Because it NEVER HAPPENED! They even have Nurse Chapel's picture next to the recipe. I just don't get it. Either Neelix is an idiot or Kirk is a scene-stealing, recipe-grubbing jackass -- which reality do you want to live in? I'll give you some time with that and move on.