Star Trek
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

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Fourth TOS Movie? The Hell It Is!
Chekov and Uhura scamper along a beach. A tanker looms in the distance. Chekov comms Kirk that they've found the required nuclear wessel. "Well done, Team Two," Kirk responds. "And Admiral, it is the Enterprise," Chekov grins. Kirk exchanges a look with Spock and asks Chekov what their plan is. "We'll beam in tonight, collect the photons and beam out -- no one will ever know," Chekov shrugs back. Why do they even need to beam in? Can't they just beam the photons over? Kirk hangs up just as Annie pulls up in a battered blue pick-up truck. "There she is," Kirk points out, "from the Institute, if we play our cards right we may be able to find out when those whales are leaving?" "How will playing cards help?" Spock wonders. Okay, Spock, enough of the playing dumb -- it doesn't suit you. After some tiresome "cute" banter, Annie offers them a ride back to the city, after first ascertaining that Spock's not crazy. Kirk offers that Spock was part of the free-speech movement at Berkeley in the sixties and might have done a little too much "LDS." For some reason, Annie doesn't put pedal to metal and immediately squeal away from them. Oh, wait, it's because she's got a thing for "hard-luck cases," which is why she works with whales. And marries ministers with wandering gumballs. ["And sports that hairstyle." -- Sara M] Spock and Kirk get in the car, and Annie warns them, "And don't try anything because I've got a tire iron right where I can get at it." Do they even know what that means? "So, you were at Berkeley?" Annie starts. "I was not," Spock responds. Annie looks at them. "Memory problems, too," Kirk explains. Annie wants to know "what the hell" they were really doing with the whales. "It wasn't some kind of macho thing, was it? Because if that's all, I'll be real disappointed -- I really hate that macho stuff." Does anyone use the word "macho" any more? Kirk doesn't answer her, but instead asks what's going to happen to the whales once they're released. Annie bitches that they will be at risk from whale hunters just like every other humpback, and wants to know what Spock meant when he was talking about extinction. "I meant --" Spock starts to say, but Kirk interrupts him with, "Hemeant...what you said on your tour...thatifthings...keep going the way they are, the humpbacks will disappear forever." "No, that's not what he said, Farm Boy [Kirk told her earlier that he was from Iowa, to which she responded, 'Landlubber,' because she's all about the name calling], he said, 'Admiral, if we were to assume these whales were ours to do with as we pleased we'd be as guilty as those who caused' -- PAST TENSE -- 'their extinction.' I have a photographic memory, I SEE words." That last line, more than ANY other line in this movie, makes me want to put my fist through my television set and rip out the innards.

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Star Trek

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