Star Trek
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

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Fourth TOS Movie? The Hell It Is!
We are introduced to the Italian restaurant with a shot of what I believe are those mustachioed PlexiCorp guys tossing pizza dough in the air. Maybe they're moonlighting. "Do you trust me?" Annie bends forward to ask Kirk. "Implicitly," Kirk says, trying to be all smooth, because using ten-dollar words when two-cent ones would do is really sexy. Annie orders a "large mushroom, pepperoni, with extra onions, and Michelob, please." Extra onions? Something tells me that Annie doesn't have very high hopes for this date. The waiter compliments Annie's choice of pizza toppings, then asks Kirk what he wants. Kirk asks for the same as Annie. So they'll be eating two large pizzas? I thought only Scotty could eat a dinner of such gargantuan proportions. Kirk and Annie share a chuckle, because copying your date's dinner order was funny in the eighties, I guess. And now it's time for Kirk to turn on the charm: "How does a nice girl like you get to be a cetacean biologist?" Whoo! Is it hot in here, or is it just that pick-up line? Oh, it actually is hot in here. I'm going to turn on the air conditioning. Be back in a second! Ah, that's better. Kirk is perplexed to see that Annie isn't swooning in his arms yet, so he takes a minute to recollect and think of a new tactic for getting into her pleated skirt. Ah! He'll take the "sensitive man, shoulder to cry on" route: "You're upset about losing the whales, aren't you?" "You're very perceptive," Annie responds. Yeah, he's real perceptive. How ever could he have figured out that Annie was upset about the whales when she put on such a brave front about it during the tour. Oh, wait, no, she didn't. She totally said that she was upset about the whales. Although I'm surprised Kirk even heard anything Annie said on the tour because he was probably transfixed by her ass the whole time. Kirk asks Annie how the whales will be released. She says, without even hesitating to think that maybe she shouldn't share this stuff with a man she just met who appears to be totally crazy, that they'll be flown to Alaska. Kirk decides it's time to really lay on the old Tiberius charm, so he grabs a phallic breadstick and tells Annie that he could take her whales somewhere they'll be totally safe. Annie laughs in his face as she says that Kirk can't even get from Sausalito to San Francisco without her help, so she doubts he can help those whales. Good point. ["Wait, except that Spock and Kirk got to Sausalito on the MUNI, so I'm sure they could've gotten back the same way. Shut up, Annie." -- Keckler] Kirk fires back with "if you have such a low opinion of my abilities, how come we're here having dinner?" Um, I don't know, maybe because Annie is stupid and reckless?

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Star Trek

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