Star Trek
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
Fourth TOS Movie? The Hell It Is!
Suddenly, Chekov jumps up, grabbing his phaser, and tells them not to move or he'll stun them so hard. Smart Vest laughs and tells Chekov to go ahead and try. Chekov shoots, but nothing happens. The smart vest is stun-proof. "Must be the radiation," Chekov says, then tosses the phaser to Smart Vest (way to leave future technology in past hands, there, Chekov. Hasn't ANYONE on that crew seen Terminator 2? ["Or remember when McCoy left his communicator behind in 'A Piece of the Action'?" -- Keckler]) as the violins of light-hearted chase music gear up. Chekov dashes (as much as someone wearing leather pants can "dash") down the hallway as the PA system announces to the ship that there is an intruder on board. No one in the hallway even notices Chekov or cares, though. They just keep walking nonchalantly, because that's what Nimoy told them to do, and extras aren't paid to disobey the director's orders. Even as heavily-armed guards run after Chekov, no one on the Wessel crew even stops to watch. Chekov makes it to the upper deck, but then he falls off of it, landing on his back on another deck about twenty feet below. Crunch! "Man down!" announces one of his pursuers. Kirk asks Uhura if she's heard anything about Chekov. She hasn't, and she feels very guilty about the whole thing. Kirk consoles her, but not really. He asks Scotty when the dilithium crystals will be ready, and Scotty says it will be another day. Kirk tells him to do better, and Scotty hangs up on him. "He's in a wee bit of a snit, isn't he?" Scotty asks Spock. "He's a man of deep feelings," Spock replies. And yet, he's so shallow. How is that possible? Early the next morning, Annie pulls up at the Cetacean Institute and totally parks her truck in a red zone. I hope she gets a ticket. She goes to check on George and Gracie, only to find that they're already gone. She runs back inside and finds Bob, who says they got rid of the whales last night because they didn't want a "mob scene with the press." I still don't know which press would even care about this, but whatever. Maybe there was some kind of crazy whale paparazzi in eighties San Francisco or something. Because it's more important to self-professed whale-lover Annie that she gets to say goodbye to George and Gracie than it is that what Bob did was easier on them, she shrieks "you SON of a BITCH!" and slaps Bob across the face. Well, she's fired. ["Dude, I'm sorry but that was SO inappropriate of her. She's got anger management issues." -- Keckler]

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Star Trek




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