Episode Report CardGrade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
The S.S. Booty appears to be crashing through Earth's atmosphere, and there is no way to control it. "My God, Jim, where are we?" Bones asks, always a little slower than the rest to catch on. Kirks says they have no idea and no control over the ship. Hey! It's Starfleet Command! Long time no see. Remember this scene? They've just lost communication from Kirk, and all their windows broke, despite the futuristic squeegee's best efforts. "Look!" says Sarek, whose amazing Vulcan eyes spot the S.S. Booty even as it hurtles through the sky at what I'm sure is extremely fast speed. Although, suddenly, the ship isn't "hurtling" so much as it is "going really slowly." This is very fortunate for the crew, because they had no way to stop the ship and it's approaching the San Francisco Bay. They fly under the Golden Gate Bridge, luckily not hitting it even though, again, they have no idea where they are or the ability to control the ship, and make a nice, soft landing in the water. Sparks going flying on the bridge as a tiny model of the S.S. Booty comes to a halt in the bay's choppy seas. Kirk figures out, somehow, that they've landed in the water and orders Spock to blow the hatch. And I guess they should all cross their fingers that they've landed on Earth and not, like, Venus, where blowing the hatch would result in their deaths from the poisonous Venetian air. Kirk exposits that all they have to do now is get the whales into the water before the ship sinks. He calls down to Engineering, but there is no response. Kirk orders the crew off the ship. McCoy and Chekov most chivalrously give Uhura a hand up the ladder. Where's Sulu? That's right: he already got the hell off that ship, refusing to obey the "women and children" rule because Sulu is a jerk. A creepy jerk. Up in space, tin can 'n' Wilson shriek. Twice. Down in engineering, the whales are in their tanks, probably thinking that they would have been better off against the Finns. The section is flooded, and Scotty and Annie are doing their best to stay above water. It's difficult for them both because Annie's carrying all that extra weight in her sweater and Scotty's carrying all that extra weight, period. Kirk bangs on the door and then pries it open. Annie and Scotty rush out, Annie's first concern being her stupid whales, which Scotty reports are trapped because the bay doors don't have any power because someone didn't think ahead that as soon as the ship got near the probe, it would lose all its power. Oh, well! Kirk to the rescue! He starts removing his coat, ordering Scotty to abandon ship and close the hatch behind him. "Admiral! You'll be trapped!" Scotty says. Well, of course Kirk will be trapped. Then he'll escape, and be the hero. Doesn't Scotty know how it goes by now?