Episode Report CardKeckler: B | Grade It Now!
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Alexander takes them into a room with very tall golden doors and begs them to call him if there is anything at all they need. Kirk thanks him, and Alexander says, "Think nothing of it, you saved my life. In fact, I should tell you that --" He stops himself, and Kirk asks, "Tell me what?" Alexander backpedals and says he just never knew people like them existed. Kirk asks where everyone is, and Alexander tells them they're "in chambers," meditating. Kirk sits down and asks Alexander if there are other Platonians like him. Alexander looks angry and asks what he means. Kirk asks if there are other Platonians who don't have the psychokinetic powers. Alexander's brow clears, and he says, "I thought you were talking about my size. Because they make fun of me for my size, but to answer your question, I'm the only one who doesn't have it. I was brought here as the court buffoon that's why I'm everybody's slave and I have to be ten places at once and I never do anything right." Spock wants to know how the power manifests, and Alexander says he understands it just comes to them, a few years after birth. "They say I'm a throwback and I am and so are you," Alexander says, pointing at Kirk. No, no, that's just the Botox. But then he feels bad and apologizes for saying it. Kirk tells him not to worry about it, because they are very happy without that power. Well, I'm not. Cleaning the litter boxes would be considerably more pleasant with that kind of power -- you just think the pewp into the plastic bag instead of making Mathra do it. Alexander plaintively asks if there are people where Kirk comes from who are his size and without The Force. Kirk gives him a kindly look and says, "Alexander, where I come from, size, shape, or color makes no difference and nobody has the power." "Nobody?" Alexander asks in awe. Kirk shakes his head, chewing his grapes. Alexander is jerked from the room and he excuses himself, saying somebody wants him. Spock tells Kirk that it will be very "gratifying" to leave that place, and Kirk tells him that, if Parmen should die, it might be difficult to leave. "Even if he shouldn't," Spock agrees. "This utopia of theirs is one of the best kept secrets of the galaxy -- screening themselves from our sensors, locking us into orbit -- all this adds up to a pattern," Kirk says, taking an inordinate amount of interest in staring intensely at nothing across the room. Spock raises an eyebrow, and Bones trots in, saying that his "concoction" worked. Parmen's cured and already quickly on the mend. "Dr. McCoy, you may yet cure the common cold," Spock comments calmly. Yeah, but sadly, he doesn't, since we know Picard catches one in about a hundred years. Kirk says it's time for them to leave, and comms Scotty to beam them up. Scotty tells him he can't -- all the controls are frozen, and it's not from turbulence damage. Kirk asks what caused the control freeze. "I dunna know, sir, and those are the facts!" The camera crazily zooms in on Scotty's face at The TOS Angle Of Confused But Definitely Portentous Drama as he delivers his line.