Star Trek
Star Trek, The Original Series: “Plato’s Stepchildren”

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B | Grade It Now!
Keckler's Apologia
Bones apologizes and tells Parmen his request is impossible. "Your duties will be extraordinarily light," Parmen goes on, ignoring Bones. "You'll be free to read, meditate, to conduct research -- whatever you like, you'll want for nothing." Bones says, "The answer is no." Parmen tells him they'd like to keep things pleasant, but they have their hearts set on making him stay. Kirk steps forward and points out, "Dr. McCoy saved your life." Parmen tells Kirk he's starting to lose patience. "And you consider yourself a disciple of Plato?" Kirk thunders. Parmen says snottily, "We manage to live in peace and harmony." Spock, his harp held near his face at just the right angle to make an attractive shot, mildly asks, "Whose harmony? [Well, see, Harmony's this twit of a vampire on Buffy who also appeared on Angel and -- oh, it's not about that Harmony. Okay.] Yours? Plato wanted truth and beauty, and above all, justice." Parmen condescends that they've had to adapt Plato's teachings to fit their purposes, but they've constructed the most democratic society conceivable. Shot of Alexander, just in case any of us turned into Bermaga and have amnesia about things that happened five minutes ago, thereby forgetting how very un-democratic the Platonians are. "Anyone can, at any moment, be or do anything he wishes, even to becoming ruler of Platonius, if his mind is strong enough!" Parmen says. The Kironide can have a strong influence on a weak mind. "And if his mind isn't strong enough, he gets torn apart like Alexander," Kirk states angrily. Or he becomes captain of the Enterprise in a prequel series. Philana looks fiendishly pleased as Parmen says, "Oh, come now, we are not children. In your culture, justice is the will of the stronger, it is forced upon people by means of weapons and fleet of spaceships. Our justice is the will of the stronger mind and I, for one, consider it a vast improvement." Kirk tells Parmen that they don't use their weapons to enforce the sort of brutality Parmen and his ilk do. No, they're really only good for corporate retreat talent shows. "Farewell, Captain," Parmen says in bored tones. Kirk turns away and says, "Come on, Doctor." Bones attempts to follow but finds himself frozen to the spot as Parmen holds out his hand. "I can't move, Jim," Bones says. "They're going to keep me here, no matter what. Leave, please." Kirk tells him he's not leaving without him, and the Platonians won't dare forcing him because they need him to be in a good mood. Parmen encourages Kirk to leave while he still is able, but Kirk booms that they aren't leaving without Bones. Parmen tells Kirk to stop throwing around his man-breasts as though he's straddling his own bridge, and Philana tells her husband impatiently to get rid of them. "Oh, no, my dear, that might offend the good doctor," Parmen tells her, and then turns back to the crew: "You wish to stay. By all means, you can help us celebrate our anniversary. In the process, I hope we can persuade you to join our tiny republic." Bones grits out that they won't be able to persuade him. "I think we will," Parmen says ominously, and clenches his fist with a little twist. Bones, against his will, is dragged to Parmen's side. Bones turns to look at his colleagues and sees them both pitched slightly forward against their will. Parmen releases them momentarily and flings some laurel wreathes at them. No, thanks, I've got some already. He forces them down on all fours and makes them place the wreaths on their heads. For the next considerable time, Spock and Kirk are under Parmen's will. Keep that in mind so I don't have to keep reminding you.

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