Episode Report CardKeckler: C- | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
...to a painting of a colony. They use that same painting in the credits. Also in another episode I think, right, Dr. Mathra? "Ah, yes," The Evil Dr. Mathra says, pulling out his evil pipe and giving the lack of evil tobacco a tamp, "but as our stuff has still not arrived in California due to the delightful movers at Rainier, I am unable to look up that information for you at this time." Dr. Hell'n-a-Handbasket holds her thighs as they walk toward the door. I think she's trying to keep her short skirt from riding up. You can see that her blue tennis undies match her uniform. Hey -- the Original Blue Tick Underoos! Kirk gestures at the obvious door and says, "In here, I presume, Doctor." "Perhaps it would be simpler if you called me Helen, Captain, since…" Hell'n-a-Handbasket seducts. Kirk puts her off, saying, "This is another time, another place, and another situation." "Well, of course, Captain," Hell'n-a-Handbasket says flippantly. What the hell is up with her? As soon as they get into the doorway, the doors shut, and the whole room starts moving and making a loud noise. Kirk grabs Hell'n-a-Handbasket in his arms to protect her from something -- motion sickness, perhaps? Kirk relaxes, but doesn't let go of Hell'n-a-Handbasket, when he realizes it's an elevator. Has he never been on one before that his reaction should be so desperate? Kirk looks closely at Hell'n-a-Handbasket, but then they reach Haberdashery and the doors open on Dr. Adams, who is wearing a blue jumpsuit with a hand, a sun, and a dove plastered over his heart. That seals it -- when people start wearing animal-figured iron-ons on their jumpsuits, they're clearly evil. Or a wall hanging at my church. Which amounts to the same thing, actually. Introductions all around, and Hell'n-a-Handbasket begs Dr. Adams to call her Helen. Her explanation for her weird fixation on her first name is, "With so many titles around, we're not going to be sure who's talking to who." Naturally, because if Dr. Adams addressed on of them as "Doctor," she couldn't be quite sure he wasn't addressing Kirk, right? This chick is a freak. Kirk cites regulations and offers to check his weapon, but Dr. Adams waves it off, telling him just to keep it out of sight. "I know you people feel as naked without a weapon as we do without a medikit," Dr. Adams laughs. I think we all know that Kirk never minds feeling naked. Hell'n-a-Handbasket must be thinking the same thing, because the camera cuts to her looking seductive again. My god, I just noticed how pointed Hell'n-a-Handbasket's dinners are. How anyone ever thought sugar cones under a shirt were sexy, I'll never understand. Dr. Adams hands drinks around, and since they don't get many visitors of Kirk's kind down there, he proposes a toast. Kirk flips open his communicator, but Dr. Adams doesn't think he'll be able to get through their security screen. He then presses a button and tells Kirk to try again. Kirk comms Spock that he and Hell'n-a-Handbasket made it there safely. Aw, it's like when Dr. Mathra calls to let me know he safely reached New Jersey at 3AM.