Star Trek
Star Trek, The Original Series: “Arena”

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C+ | Grade It Now!
Jimmy crack Gorn and I don't care
Spock runs to join Kirk. Nimoy's double ("If he was even allowed to have one!" Mathra mutters bitterly) must have been sick that day, because he doesn't do any fancy leaping and landing; he just sort of awkwardly stumble-falls through the explosions until he gets to Kirk and gestures with his tricorder, "Locked on to the enemy, Captain, they're moving to the high ground." There's a hissing noise, and Spock holds up his smoking tricorder. "They've locked onto my tricorder!" Spock says, all aghast at the temerity. Spock hurls the tricorder away. Pause. Explosion. "Very ingenious," Spock explains. "They fed back my own impulses and built up an overload." At this point, Kirk has opened a box of blue paint balls. He calls them grenades, but I think they're blue paint balls. "We'll see how 'ingenious' they are," Kirk miffs, and gets Spock to help him with a grenade launcher. Kirk hollers for Lang. Another officer, not Lang, scuttles over and says, "They got Lang, sir." I don't know why that made me crack up. It was the guy's delivery. All of a sudden, Kirk has strategically-placed dirt smudges on his forehead and both cheeks. They are actually the exact size and shape of a make-up artist's thumb. Kirk gets some input from his one surviving tactician on where he should launch the grenade. The tactician then comments, "It's pretty close for one of these little jewels, Captain." "Little jewels" -- aw, he loves his blow-up toys as much as Malcolm Peed does! There's continuity for you. Kirk launches the grenade, there's a brief pause, and then a weird electronic flashing thing that signified the best the late sixties could do in terms of explosions. It can't be good to be so near that aftershock -- it looked nuclearish. Fake nuclearish, but still nuclearish. To me? It always looked like the special effects guys took a piece of clear orange plastic and waved it back and forth in front of the camera lens. The firing from the unseen enemy stops, and Sulu comms that the enemy ship is withdrawing. Kirk tells Sulu not to lose track of the ship, and orders a search party to the surface to look for survivors. They beam up. Kirk logs that they are following the alien ship into an unexplored section of the galaxy. Meanwhile, Kirk tries to get info out of the Cestus III survivor. Given that all the other beds in sickbay are empty, he must have been the only one. The survivor doesn't know anything. The aliens attacked without warning and without explanation. The survivor gets so beside himself with overacting that Kirk tells him to calm down. Man, you know you're playing it too broad when Kirk tells you to ease up. Either that or you're stepping on too many Shattoes. Kirk confirms that the messages they received from Cestus III were all faked. Look here, Kirk and Spock already told us that -- why the reconfirmation accompanied by You Must Get Scared Now music?

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Star Trek




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