Star Trek
Star Trek, The Original Series: “The Paradise Syndrome”

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C+ | Grade It Now!
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The Song of Kirkawatha
After all the pleas for this particular episode, I really couldn't believe my luck when Dr. Mathra (tmlis, who observed that with his new degree, he now sounds like an evil sci-fi mastermind) shook me out of bed last Sunday with the news: "'The Paradise Syndrome' is on Sci-Fi NOW!" Fortunately, he had started the tape before running in with the breaking news. UN-fortunately, it was two minutes gone before he realized it was on, but managed to faithfully reconstruct those lost minutes for me. So, this one's going out to all you Kirok-lovers out there in the dark, but especially to lis and Couch Baron, who seemed to want him the most. The Trekumvirate of Spock, Kirk, and Bones beam down to a planet. Bones thinks he smells honeysuckle, but Kirk trumps his honeysuckle and raises him an orange blossom. Spock opines that the chances of finding an Earth-That-Is planet all the way out there are "astronomical." A few yards away, the Trekumvirate find a clearing in which stands a huge metal obelisk with mysterious markings on it. They all agree that the obelisk had to have been created by an advanced species, and wonder how it came to be there. At this point, Spock reminds them that they need to get back to the ship and warp over to the asteroid deflection point in thirty minutes. Apparently, there's an asteroid on a direct course toward this planet, and they are assigned? required? just doing it for shits and giggles? to deflect the asteroid before it can destroy the planet. Since they still have thirty minutes before they have to make star tracks, Kirk wants to spy on the local color. See if any native chicks are undressing behind bushes. The Trekumvirate clump over to a lake and look across at what is clearly a primitive culture. The primitiveness being defined by tipis and a small thatched hut, and therefore obviously incapable of making that postmodern metal monstrosity with mysterious markings. Kirk stares longingly out at the small lakeside settlement, and Bones asks him what his problem is. "Oh, nothing," Kirk sighs, leaning against a tree, "Just...so...peaceful...uncomplicated. No...problems...no...command decisions. Just...LIVING!" Bones turns to Spock and explains that Kirk's "typical human reaction" to the idyllic surroundings was called "The Tahiti Syndrome" in the twentieth century. "It's particularly common to high-pressured leadership types, like starship captains," Bones elaborates. "Ah, Tahiti Syndrome," Kirk muses, remembering the alien lass that gave it to him. Thank god the ointment cleared it up. Before they go to "take care of that asteroid," Kirk wants to examine the obelisk one more time.

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Star Trek

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