Star Trek
Star Trek, The Original Series: “Spock’s Brain”

Episode Report Card
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A No-Brainer
Cheddar: The cheese is definitely there but we're used to it. Parmigiano-Reggiano: A hard, grating kind of cheese. Stilton: Moldy and pock-ridden. Banon: Oozing with cheesy goodness and getting stenchy. Taleggio: The kind of stink you just can't get off your hands! Out, out, damn cheese! So, that last line: "In search of his BRAIN, Doctor!" Score: Stilton. Bones is still befuddled, and Kirk explains that since the brain won't come to Spock, they'll have to bring Spock to the brain. "Jim," Bones starts, "where are you going to look, in this whole galaxy, WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO LOOK FOR SPOCK'S BRAIN?" Oh, this is going to be bad, because every time they say something about looking for Spock's brain, not only am I getting the giggles, but I want to give it a Cheese Rating. That last one scores a Banon, but only because of how closely it followed Kirk's Stilton-rated line. Kirk is quietly confident that he'll find it. Now, if Spock had a Spicule chip implanted in his brain, they'd probably be able to re-phase the hootchimagig and re-align the warp coils to lock onto the signal and beam it back. Bones says that even if they get the brain back, he won't really know what to do with it. Hannibal Lecter's Cooking the Complete Carcass would probably be a sound resource for that. "It was taken out, it can be put back in," Kirk says, earning him a Cheddar. Bones points out that nothing has changed from two seconds ago when he didn't know HOW to do that. Kirk thinks the Brain Burglar will be able to assist them in that matter. "I'll FORCE it out of her," Kirk growls. Bones says they have twenty-four hours to find the Brain Burglar, get back the brain, and make the deposit. During the commercial break, Robert Justman tells the Sci-Fi channel that he didn't have any favorite TOS episodes, he loves them all: "Even 'Spock's Brain,' you know, which was possibly the worst one we ever made." Nimoy comes on to say, "'Spock's Brain'? Yeah." He raises one eyebrow and we get a shot of Chapel collapsing to the floor of Sickbay. Nimoy sort of tries to justify the idea of the episode, saying, "The title tells us that we were onto something that has to do with -- supposedly something special." Hee. Okay, whatever you say, gorgeous. Herbert Solow says that everyone knows there were a lot of hokey episodes of TOS: "My wife, Yvonne, and I talk a lot about an episode called 'Spock's Brain' -- I mean, great idea...but no." Heh. Nimoy blathers on, "If you did an episode called 'Einstein's Brain,' you would know what you were dealing with, and that was the attempt: to do something that had to do with a brain that was special, that Spock had brain power that was unusual, unique, useful, valuable and somebody would want to steal it!" Nimoy, honey, I love you, but you gotta stop with the mid-morning drinking! More blathering from Nimoy about how he would react if someone came into his office with the "Spock's Brain" idea, interspersed with shots from the episode that I'm not going to recap because recapping them once is going to give me enough laughing pains to keep me from standing up straight for months. Suffice it to say that, say what you will about Sci-Fi, they have a great sense of humor. Finally Nimoy says that it all comes down to execution, shooting, et cetera and that "[he] was pretty much -- in more ways than one -- out of it during the making of that episode." Say no more.

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