Episode Report CardKeckler: F | Grade It Now!
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Sybok enters the brig area, commenting, "The bond around these three is strong, it will be quite a challenge to penetrate that," and then he sees the blast hole and the empty cell. Sulu needlessly tells Sybok that they have to find them. Somewhere in the veins of the ship, Scotty tells the Strength of Three that they canna trust anyone. Kirk mulls over sending an emergency distress call, and Spock says there's such an "apparatus" in the fore'ard observation booth. Oh, what, like the message wouldn't be intercepted by the ship's main computer? Since they're on the underside of the ship and the apparatus is on top, it will be difficult for the Power of Three to reach it. Scotty tells them they can get there via a non-working turbo tube, and gives them complicated instructions on how to reach it. Kirk orders Scotty to get the transporter working, as they'll need it when the rescue ship arrives. Kirk tells Scotty that he's "amazing," and the Three's Company scamper off. Scotty mutters that there's nothing amazing about it: "I know this ship like the back'a my hand." And then runs right into a bulkhead. And passes out. Poor Scotty. Inside the turbo tube, Bones and Kirk start climbing. Mathra giggles from the couch and intones, "I think they need a climbing song: 'Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques'!" invoking Cpt. Picard's foray into a turbo tube. Spock leaves by another door. Elsewhere in the ship, Sulu discovers Scotty and orders Michael Stipe With No Teeth to take him to sick bay. As Kirk and Bones reach Deck 13, Spock joins them in his jet boots. He grabs Kirk and Bones around their waists and powers up his jet boots. But the extra weight is too much -- "Must be all those marshmallows," Kirk mutters, making a mental note to add liposuction to his to-do list -- and they descend. Spying Sulu and the search party at the bottom of the turbo tube, Kirk pulls at Spock's shirt and says, "Spock, the rocket boosters!" They fly past deck numbers: 52...64...52 (um?)...77...78...78 (wha?) -- I guess they didn't believe in editing in the 80s -- and stop just short of crashing through the top. They get to the emergency message-sending apparatus and, uh, send an emergency message. They get a response from Starfleet, and give their coordinates for the rescue vessel. Lo, behold, and lo again, it's actually the rogue Klingon ship that has responded to their distress call. It sets off in pursuit of the Enterprise at the receipt of her coordinates, with the Klingon captain, in search of his Great White Kirk, shouting, "Thar she blows!" in Klingon. Okay, not really -- I mean, it's not like this is The Wrath of Khan or anything. Sigh.