Episode Report CardKeckler: F | Grade It Now!
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But "God" decides to choose the face of George Murdock as Zeus cum Santa Claus, and zooms in so big and close you can see his pores. "Does this surpass your expectations?" "God" asks them. All I can think of here is Ghostbusters when that freaky chick asks Dan Ackroyd: "Are...You...A...God?" Sybok speaks Vulcan in reverence. "God" talks about their long arduous journey to him and asks how they managed it. Sybok tells him of their starship. "This starship, could it carry my wisdom beyond the barrier?" "God" asks. Sybok tells him, "It could, yes!" "Then I will make use of this starship," "God" says. Sybok is so excited he nearly wets himself. Kirk interjects, "Excuse me." "God" ignores the Mighty Kirk and talks about his wisdom. Pay no attention to that Shatner behind the curtain! "Excuse me," Kirk says, louder this time, "I just need to ask a question: what does God need with a starship?" "Bring the ship closer," "God" says. "I said, 'What does God need with a starship?'" Kirk repeats. Bones grabs Kirk and asks him what he's doing. "God" asks who Kirk is. "Who am I?" Kirk asks, "Don't you know? Aren't you God?" Sybok tells "God" that Kirk has his doubts. Kirk says he wants proof. Bones tells Kirk, "You don't ask the Almighty for his ID." Blue lightning shoots out of "God's" eyes, and he gives Kirk his "proof" and gives it to him good. The people watching from the ship -- wait, watching from the ship? How in heck-fire are they doing that? Kirk et al. have traveled over large rocks and big piles of sand; how is any camera still trained on them? Oh, I give up. This movie is one big mess of inconsistencies and implausibilities. A disaster of Shatnerian proportions. Anyway, serving up a HUGE portion of willful suspension of disbelief here, the people watching from the ship gasp at this violent act. Bones helps the singed and smoking Kirk to sit up, and he asks, "Why is God angry?" Sybok asks "God" why "He" hurt his friend. "He doubts me," "God" says. Spock steps forward and restates Kirk's question. He's lightning-bolted to the ground as well. "God" asks Bones if he doubts as well. Bones tells him he'd doubt any god who would intentionally give pain for his own enjoyment. Sybok tells "God" to stop, adding that "Him" the god of Shakari wouldn't do this. "Shakari, a vision you created," "God" tells him, "an eternity I've been imprisoned in this place -- the ship, I must have the ship. Now, give me what I want!" Spock stands up and tells his dumbfounded half-brother, "This is not the god of Shakari or any other god." Sybok still doesn't get it, and says so. "Reveal yourself!" he orders. We go into "God's" eye and "He" laughs, taking on the appearance of Sybok. "What's wrong," "He" asks, "don't you like this face? I have so many but this one suits you best!" Wha? I don't get it. Sybok bawls and shakes his head in denial. "God" tells Sybok to bring the ship closer so he can "join with it," or else Sybok will have to watch his friends "die horribly." Sybok looks imploringly at Kirk, who flips open his communicator and says, "Kirk to Enterprise, listen carefully."