Star Trek
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

Episode Report Card
Keckler: F | Grade It Now!
What does Kirk need with a toupee?
Sybok goes to Spock and tells him that this mess is his own doing because of his arrogance and vanity. Spock tries to interrupt him, but Sybok continues, saying he has to undo this. "Forgive me, brother," he says, raising his hand in Vulcan salute, "live long and prosper." Sybok walks to "God" and says, "I couldn't help but notice your pain, share it with me!" and jumps into the blue light. Some wrestling seems to go on. Kirk asks the Enterprise if they're ready and tells them to fire the torpedo. It's fired, and Kirk drags the other two to cover just before the big explosion. The ribcage falls, and Spock says, "Sybok," as they look at the place where the blue light and big giant head were -- now a red smolder. There's a loud bellow from the red smolder, and Kirk shows real leadership by saying, "Let's get outta here!" Aboard the Enterprise, Uhura tells Sulu she's lost them. And the Klingon Bird of Prey, still unnoticed, cloaks itself. Yeah, well, they've got bigger fish to fry than some bumpy-headed vigilantes. In the shuttlecraft, Kirk tells Spock to get them out of there. There's loud grumbling surrounding them as Spock tells them the thrusters aren't working. The shuttlecraft is banged about as more grumbling takes place. Kirk talks to Scotty on the communicator, who tells him the transporters have enough power for two of them. Kirk orders Spock and Bones up, and as they dematerialize, Bones says, "Now just a damn minute." Bones and Spock arrive on the ship, and Spock orders Scotty to beam up the captain, just as the Klingon Bird of Prey fires on them and sends sparks all over the transporter room. Some really loud grumbling and blue lightning bolts send Kirk running out of the shuttlecraft. Bones follows Spock onto the bridge and asks, "What about Jim, Spock? We just can't leave him down there!" Spock asks Bones to "please get a grip on [him]self," and asks Uhura for a status report. Uhura tells him the Klingons want their terms. On the view screen, the Klingon captain finally gives himself the name of Klaa, and tells Spock to hand over Kirk, saying that their transporters are ready to beam him aboard. Spock tells Klaa Kirk isn't there right now, but he'll let Kirk know that Klaa stopped by and Kirk will call him back. Klaa accuses Spock of lying, to which Spock retorts, "I'm a Vulcan, I'm incapable of lying. Captain Kirk is on the planet below." Klaa insists on Kirk's coordinates. Spock walks over to the Klingon consul and tells him he needs his assistance. The Klingon is confused. "You are his superior officer," Spock says. "I am a foolish old man," the Klingon consul says. "Damn you, sir, you will try!" Spock thunders -- inasmuch as a Vulcan can "thunder."

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