Step It Up & Dance

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Jeff Long: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Blow Out the Candles and Make a Wish!

Next is an old photo of Mochi and her mom and two older brothers. Cute! Bowl haircuts on the boys and a feathered 'do on mom! Mochi interviews that her mother put her in dance classes when she was 4. We see more snapshots of Mochi in dance gear. The first is a shot of some man strapping her into a one-shouldered dance recital number while she grinning at the camera. Then there's a shot of her in some library stacks en Pointe in arabesque with her back leg touching the top shelf of the bookcase while she's reading a book. Mochi says that her mother really encouraged her and, while she may have appeared to be a stage mother, Mochi gives her credit for the person she is today. Then, we see Mochi interviewing and she has tears in her eyes. She says that winning would be an homage to her teachers and her family. She says that she has been in the business for a very long time and, "I deserve it." That's pretty touching. But, it's not like you've been hoofing on a cardboard box in Union Square for your supper, Mochi. You're on Broadway -- your teachers are probably pretty proud already.

In the limo from the airport, Mochi asks everyone what they've been up to. Miguel is having a glass of scotch in the car and is the only one drinking...does anyone else think he may have a problem? I just sort of have a theory that for every beverage imbibed onscreen -- and we've seen him take in a few -- there have to be a lot of others off camera. Right? He says that Janelle just finished her first "cheerleading film." Janelle says to everyone in the car, "Go figure. I hate that it's a cheerleading movie." I'm thinking, "Wow, a straight-to-DVD sequel to Bring It On. I love those!" But no. She has been choreographing dance videos for Jamz. More power to her -- everybody's got to earn a living, but this shit looks pretty stupid. She's dancing on a stage with one other girl. They're in black pants and black tank tops that have "JAMZ" emblazoned across the front. And they're dancing with tiny silver pom-poms. I've written "dancing" twice in reference to Jamz and that's a lie. It's aerobics. Janelle describes the Jamz philosophy as such: "It's like cheerleading mixed with, like, technique. With poms." Sign me up...for a lobotomy. We see her dancing with a guy and Janelle tells us that it's her boyfriend, Simon. They met at Jamz. We see a shot of him with his arm around Janelle's neck. He says, "Number one winner right here. Number one dancer." And his index finger is throbbing in one of those aggressively outstretched "Number 1" signs that cheerleaders are always doing. Simon seems like a homo to me. Whatevs -- she's only 18, it was bound to happen.

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Step It Up & Dance

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