Step It Up & Dance

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: B | Grade It Now!
The Incredible Hoofer
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: The dancers had to perform with Stomp. The style was totally counterintuitive to anything that Oscar had done and Tovah had problems as well. Miguel really hates Michael. Miguel was declared the winner (and he thinks his hair played a part) while the show is over for Tovah. Still sad about that, by the way.

Guess what time it is. You got it, it's morning, and we're at the dancers lofts. I've been writing that as possessive, but Bravo feels differently, per our friendly caption on the screen. I'm going to follow their lead. Heh. Nick says that he misses Tovah, and we see what appears to be some sort of tribal statue in a bed, with the covers pulled to its head. The Tovah Shrine. Weird. Nick says that the feminine touch is definitely missing from the apartment now. I forgot, this show is called Step It Up and Assign Gender. We see Cody holding a broken cereal bowl. He's so strong and masculine. Girls never break dishes. Unless you're Rihanna. That's the best song that has ever been written and they should be dancing to it every week on this show. For however may seasons of it they have. Write in.

Nick continues, saying that being in the dancers lofts with a bunch of guys takes him back to his days in a fraternity. Then, we see pics of Nick with his face painted and one where he and a buddy are clad only in loincloths with war paint on their faces. So, apparently fraternities are just like what we thought they were. Drunken naked boys wearing make-up. Oscar has apparently just moved to their loft-- they must be consolidating after Tovah's elimination. Nick asks him if he's nervous to live with them and he says "No" in three syllables.

Miguel is fixing his 'do in the bathroom and interviews that he's not going to play it safe for this challenge because he has immunity and cannot be eliminated. I kinda like that attitude, which is weird to say about Miguel. In the living room, Mochi, Miguel, Janelle, and Michael stand in a circle, hands together, while Mochi says, "Live life, love, passion, peace." Then they make like their hands are kissing each others' hands and they separate. They should all be eliminated for that. From the human race.

Jerry greets them at the theatre. He congratulates all of them for making it this far and reminds them that they've made it through four challenges. Then he tells them that the key to their next challenge is behind the closed door he is standing in front of. Nick interviews that he was waiting for a "Dun DUN DUN!" If he was watching with us, he would have heard a porno synth/air-being-released-from-a-tire sound. He opens the door and Jason Alexander is sitting at a bar behind it. A caption explains that Jason is the artistic director at Reprise!Everybody's all "George Costanza!" but you know they're really thinking, "What the hell does this guy have to do with dance? Are we going to do a Break The "Seinfeld Curse" Dance?" Or, maybe they're not thinking that hard. Janelle for instance says, "I wish I could've been on an episode of Seinfeld. Maybe that's what we'll win! You never know." Someone off-camera alerts her to the entire past decade that Seinfeld hasn't been on the air.She seems stunned. How fucking stupid is that? Friends? I could forgive you. It's still in the not-so-terribly distant past. According to Jim? I honestly don't know if it's on the air now or not. But, Seinfeld? She was like 9 when it went off the air? Her parents don't love her. That's all I'm saying.

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Step It Up & Dance




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