Step It Up & Dance

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: B | 834 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Nightclub

Next to arrive is Nicole Berrong, who is 29 and from Chicago. She's a go-go dancer (she up-talks her title -- is she embarrassed?) and we see video proof. She interviews that people are "confused" about go-go dancing. They think that go-go dancing is stripping. But they are wrong. You see, strippers take their clothes off for money. Go-go dancers only take most of their clothes off for money. And they have boots named after them, while strippers have high heels named after them. It must be so annoying to have people get that wrong. Nicole picks up a handful of her hair in a sexy way (with all of her clothes on, it's really hard to tell if she's a go-go dancer or a stripper, she should give people a break) and suggests that they start dancing.

Oscar obliges and goes to the barre and lifts his leg into a standing split. Right now, in my mind's eye, I'm seeing an amazing image of all of these people living together. Hope with me right now, people, that every domestic dispute that occurs (someone eats someone's cereal, someone doesn't do their dishes, etc.) will be resolved with a dance-off. We will all be very happy.

Next, Tovah enters and heads straight for Janelle, our designated hugger. Outside, in a cab, we meet Michelle "Mochi" Camaya, who is 30 and from San Diego. She says that her mother put her in ballet when she was 4, because she was "too spastic around the house." That led to tap and "theatre arts" and now she is celebrating her 7th year in The Lion King. She says that she loves to have her "feet" in all parts of the dance world. Except for accounting.

Nick Drago, 26 and from Houston, enters the studio next, along with his facial hair. It's so wrong. Otherwise, I think Nick might be a good-looking guy, but we are talking about some really fucking ugly facial hair. It's like a beard with no mustache with all sorts of weird shapes shaved into the side. Like an Amish guy in a tractor accident. He says that when he was 4, his mother exposed him to Footloose and he told her that he wanted to be like Kevin Bacon. His look would suggest that he especially admired the Murder in the First-era Bacon. His mom put him in dance classes, at which point he realized that those classes were a great place for him to meet "ladies." Did you catch that everyone? Let me translate: HE'S STRAIGHT. Got it? I might be wrong, but I really think that's what they're trying to tell us. What is the point with that? Is it just that the producers are assuming that the audience thinks that most male dancers are gay and this is their way of making Nick more interesting? Or, is it that they think he's worth more because he's straight? Do they think it makes the show less gay? Listen, I watch all of these damn dance shows and on their butchest moments they make Liza With A 'Z' look like Platoon, so I think their priorities are really misplaced if that's what they're going for. Do they think that the glorifying of the (always lady-killing) random heterosexual guy that walks onto one of these shows is going to make other heterosexual guys watch it? If that's the case, come on. For real. Or do they really think his being straight makes him more interesting? Possibly. But due to the fact that they never show one of the gay dudes talking about how dance class was a great place to be a big homo, it seems to me that what they are really saying is this guy more legitimately "male" than the other guys. Like, we're actually going to see a "real guy" dance now and not some girl-man. Even though Nick has been in dance class just as long as everyone else. It's not like he walked off a job on an oilrig. I know this all sounds hypersensitive, but I just find it interesting -- if not simply for the fact that it obviously seems to enrage me a little bit.

Step It Up & Dance

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