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First They Were Afraid!

Props to Wing Chun, Glark, and Omar G, who spectacularly closed out last season while I spluttered to my honeymoony non-finish. Anti-props to Entertainment Weekly, who borrowed (translation: stole) my prize concept -- Talking Rudy Doll -- and used it, and poorly so, in their "Best of 2000" issue. Boo to big guys who pick on little guys. I'm over it. Can you tell? Welcome back, all, and a big whew-hoo to the Ravens! I think that's it.

Just Peachy has a new shirt in honor of the new season. It's blue, not khaki, and miracles never do cease. But don't worry -- he's still Just Peachy, and more so than ever! We see a plane flying over the Outback and lots of outback-y scenery. I'm already wondering how many times I'll use the word "outback" this year. Not possibly as many times as Just Peachy will.

Peachy announces that the new S16 are riding in a special plane "on loan from the Royal Australian Air Force," and I guess we should be happy that the Australian military has nothing better to do with their rescue planes than loan them to hokey American television programs. Peachy explains the concept of Survivor, and for the three people in America who haven't heard of this show, I'll sum it up: sixteen people get dumped in some godforsaken place, vote one person off every week, until all that's left is an overweight, naked homosexual named Richard, who then wins a million dollars. Got it? As Peachy explains this concept in a more verbose way, the plane-cam scans the interior and we see various shots of the ill-, irritated-, bored-. sleepy-, and noble-looking sixteen contestants. As Peachy recites for the billionth time, "Forty-two days; sixteen people; one Survivor," the camera pans away, and we see that he is perkily perched on the open tail-end of the plane. Some of our very own posters hoped for a perky little accident in the form of something resembling peach cobbler, but it didn't happen.

They haven't changed the theme song except to add some minor Australian-like sounds. I'm assuming they're Australian-like, but I don't really know what that is. ["There is definitely a digeridoo." -- Wing Chun] In any case, I was happy to hear the familiar oh-wey-oh-ing, and in the past few Survivor-deprived months, I'm not ashamed to admit, I occasionally rewound my Survivor tapes just to hear it again and chant along with it. As the S16 make their dramatic credit appearances, and as I watch repeatedly to assign faces to names, I notice that only Debb, Jerri, Rodger, and Maralyn get one shot each, while the others have at least two different shots. Clue or coincidence? Time will be the judge.

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