Well, add one more mystery to the pile of unanswered questions about what's happening on this show: "Why aren't people in ABC's promo department allowed to watch the episode before crafting their wildly inaccurate commercials?" Why promise that three mysteries will be solved, when the one thing that is actually revealed (the story behind Jack's tattoo) isn't really a mystery, or even anything most viewers have even been wondering about.
But since that's what this episode was about, here goes: Jack spends some time in Thailand, where he meets up a mysterious Thai woman who says she has a gift, and they have a lot of sex, despite Jack apparently being suspicious that she might be a prostitute. He finds out she's just a tattooer -- well, she says she's more than that, because she can see who people really are or whatever, and marks them thusly. Which to me sounds like a bunch of nonsense in order to charge a hell of a lot more that a regular tattooer, because you don't suppose she'd ever say to a client, "Well, you seem to be a douchebag, so that's what I'm going to tattoo on your arm." I mean, Jack acts like a dick to her and she still tells him he's a leader, a great man, and he makes her tattoo him. She doesn't want to do it, because he's an outsider? So it would be wrong? I guess? but he makes her anyway. Why? Well, "why" is not a question that gets answered a whole lot this episode. On the plus side, Jack gets a royal beatdown because of his tattoo-demanding. Hit him in his magically-already-healed shoulder, guys!
On the island, we meet some new character who's known as the sheriff; she's there to find out what exactly happened with Juliet and Danny, and also she can coincidentally read Jack's tattoo. Well, thank god someone can provide a loose connection to the flashbacks! She's older and severe and -- dare I say it -- strangely erotic. The Others plan to execute Juliet for killing Danny, but Jack trades his continued care of Ben to spare her, which is noble, if I could shake the feeling that he only did it for the grilled cheese.
Kate wants to go back to rescue Jack, but Sawyer refuses. And Carl cries because he misses his girlfriend Alex so badly, and Sawyer punches him and tells him to "cowboy up" and seems to endorse Carl embarking on a suicide mission to go be with Juliet. Sawyer's just cranky because he thinks Kate only did him because she thought he was going to die.
Kate and Sawyer are sailing their boat blissfully across the water, back to camp. Well, maybe "blissfully" is the wrong word; Sawyer's half-heartedly singing, "Show Me the Way to Go Home" ("... had a little drink about an hour ago") and apparently Kate decides that facing the Others is far preferable to having to listen to Sawyer sing all the way back to camp, because she tells Sawyer that they have to go back, because they can't leave Jack behind. Sawyer's not interested, though: "Yes we can, Freckles. Because he asked us to," says Sawyer. I'm sure if Jack hadn't, Sawyer'd be leading the rescue charge, hmmm? He asks Kate what she thinks "Captain Bunny-Killer" will do to them if he catches them back there. Carl, sleeping in the bow of the boat, stirs, and says, "He'll kill you." Unfamiliar with rhetorical questions, are we? Then he says, "God loves you as he loved Jacob," which was one of the slogans being flashed at Carl during his Clockwork Orange sequence; that, or the Big Guy Upstairs is big-upping the Battlestar Galactica recaps. Sawyer sarcastically thanks the poor guy for his input, then tells Kate that Jack's on his own.
Zeke (Tom) enters Jack's cell to say that they're moving Jack, who sits there and smirks when Zeke's evasive about where they're taking him and why. "So this is it, huh?" laughs Jack, who thinks since he saved Ben's life, that if the Others are going to kill him, they can at least respect him enough not to call it "moving." "Now why would we kill you?" asks Zeke. "Because you're done with me," says Jack, and Zeke takes offence, all, "What kind of people do you think we are, Jack?" Jack starts running down the laundry list of complaints: taking a pregnant woman, hanging Charlie, kidnapping, and on and on. "That's the kind of people I think you are," he says.
Zeke slowly walks over the window in Jack's cell and taps on the glass. "You see this glass house you're living in, Jack? Let me get you some stones," he says. Jack looks he might briefly think that Zeke's got a point, which is pretty much nonsense. Comparatively speaking, I think the Lostaways can chuck as many rocks as they want right now.
Anyway, a couple more Others come in, and Zeke wants to do this "the easy way," and Jack allows himself to be handcuffed and led out of the cell. Walking down the corridor, Jack sees Juliet being led under armed guard in the opposite direction. "Hey," she says softly as they pass, and Jack sees that her hands are bound behind her as well. Confused, he also spots an older blonde woman with quite severe eyebrows and what is practically a Hilary Duff haircut with a little poof thing on top. You know that kind of hair? I mean, it's short, and what's there is pulled back in a ponytail, but... see, this is why I never describe hair and clothes. I'm terrible at it. Anyway, Juliet is led into Jack's cell, and Jack is taken outside. You mean, they're not going to be allowed to mate like Kate and Sawyer were?
The sky is clouding over as a very perky Jack strolls out of a huge hut on the beach. Nice prison! Club Fed! Looks like Ben's soft on crime. Or we're in flashback. Jack dons some sunglasses and slings his bag over his shoulder as he steps down onto the beach, which turns out to be Phuket. A little urchin comes running up, yelling for "Dr. Jack" and asking if he wants any soda. Jack holds up two fingers, and the kid pulls two bottles from his bag, and then babbles excitedly as Jack gives him clearly more than they're worth, and Jack patronizingly says that he can't understand a word the kid says, and then smugly says, "You're welcome."