Matt wanders back into his office and tells Suzanne that they are looking for "a 4 AM miracle" to help him finish writing the show. I love how Suzanne is clearly just humoring Matt, occasionally mumbling something like "yeah" or "really" while sorting his mail and checking his messages. Meanwhile, Matt says, "Sleep deprivation erodes your internal sensors and allows you to come out of yourself." Then he pounds his fist on the window. I don't know. He's on drugs. That's the only explanation. I used to believe in the 4 AM miracle. And then I graduated from college. Suzanne reveals that she's eating a veggie burger, and Matt yells at her for eating pretend food. Suzanne says that she wants to lose ten pounds, and Matt tells her that she's perfect and that's ridiculous. Apparently, it's supposed to be a compliment when Matt tells her, "If I was a little younger, less famous, and made a little less money..." So in other words, if Suzanne were richer and more famous, Matt would bang her? Thanks? Talk about a hostile work environment. And shouldn't Matt be more familiar with the use of the subjunctive, being a writer and all? And also, what was the point of that again? Suzanne has body-image issues? Matt is a chubby chaser? Not that Suzanne is fat -- she's average-sized in an industry where most women are below average. Maybe they're setting up a future storyline or maybe it was just a throwaway line or maybe I just spent more time worrying about it than anyone on the writing staff did.
Suzanne brings their conversation back around to work, and Matt says that he's going to go downstairs to find the guys. Suzanne asks him if anything is working with the writing, and Matt says that nothing is. They both look defeated. Suzanne says that she laughed a little at the Cinemax sketch, and they start talking about the inherent dangers of being a writer who makes fun of soft-core porn. It involves meeting purveyors of said films at parties, and the awkwardness that ensues. It also leads Matt to spin a fantasy tale of an executive, wearing glasses and a suit, who might knock on his door late at night...and he's interrupted by the lawyer, Mary Tate, who is wearing glasses and a suit, knocking on his door. Matt turns back to Suzanne, kind of freaked, and whispers, "This is so weird." Matthew Perry's reactions always make me laugh. Also, Mary Tate claims that she worked for Gage Whitney, which is where Sam Seaborn started out. Nice touch for the Sorkinites.