Jordan asks the waiter for some orange juice -- a carton if possible. Jordan continues to press Danny to make the show more ratings-friendly, but Danny doesn't want to hear it. He insists that ratings have been down because the show has been lousy, and that's because Matt hasn't been writing the shows until Wednesdays, and that's because of something he won't tell her, wink--wink, pop-pop, swallow-swallow. Jordan gets her quart of o.j. and starts chugging, at which point Danny seriously would like to know what's up with the binging on citrus. She says it's because she hasn't felt the baby kick all day. Danny immediately gets very concerned and whisks her away.
Matt's office. He's on the phone, trying to get preliminary ratings info and getting nowhere. He's irritable, and he bitches to Suzanne about why ratings aren't instantaneous. She says she knows he knows she told Danny about the pills. Matt knows she knows he knows. And I know you know I know this is a bit from that Friends episode, so I don't have to make a big thing out of it, right? Suzanne gets Matt to confirm that he's not mad at her before telling him that he's about to crash and how awful the withdrawal's going to be. His serotonin levels are going to be for shit and he'll be more depressed than he ever thought possible. Don Pardon't knocks on the door and says he saw the tape, and damned if he didn't say "Studio City." Matt's gracious about it, at last, and tells Don to go enjoy the party.
Matt finds Mary in some office or another downstairs, typing up her report to send to the lawyers in New York. She tells him she spoke to Harriet, but Harriet was the one who initiated it, so don't blame Mary for talking to her during the show. Out of nowhere, Matt says "yes" to Mary's offer to be his date for the after party. Or else they could just skip it and go have dinner someplace. After slobbering all over him for an hour, Mary turns him down, because he's still in love with Harriet. "I've taken 9,000 pages of statements," she says. "You don't have to be a lawyer, you just have to be a woman." Okay, I know what she's getting at -- that her super-sharp lady skills are all she needs to know whether a boy likes a girl -- but that sentence on its own makes very little sense. Matt desperately tells her that he's moving on. "I have to -- it's that or the Betty Ford Center." Mary deadpans that she's heard more romantic reasons to go out on a date. Matt once more asks her out, calling her "MENSA lady." Again, all that brain power doing what it's supposed to: getting boys to like you. After one final appeal, Mary finally gives in. She says she knows he's still hung up on Harriet, but that'll change once he figures out Mary's "hot stuff." She doesn't know the half of it: she just agreed to date a guy who knows he'll be chemically unable to experience joy for the next several weeks. Have fun, you kids!









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