Matt's office, where Matt is once again simmering within his own heart of darkness. Jack enters and hounds around for some scotch. Man, if this show had gone a second season, I guarantee you Jack would have ended up Albrechting someone. Or at the very least calling someone "sugar tits" in a Glenfiddich haze. So Jack starts talking about how he bought 5% of a technology company today. The company produces software (called "Standing O," as best as Jack can recall) that can analyze TV shows and ratings info to determine the perfect mechanical way to create a TV show that will get high ratings. Jack says it's similar to what a product like Platinum Blue does with songs. Believe it or not, Matt is horrified at the idea that a soulless computer program could have anything at all to say about the creative process. So once again. Jack plays the cipher for soulless corporate America as we all recoil in horror at such an obviously terrible idea. Jack looks desperate, a little unhinged, and maybe already drunk as he touts what this program could do for, oh let's say, a sketch comedy show. Matt evenly explains that ratings are cyclical and nobody knows why people do or do not tune in. It's a mystery! Why, a show could be perfectly good and important and smart and funny and compelling and still it would barely be able to beat out What About Brian? on Mondays. For example. Jack's all, "Food for thought," as he weaves his way out of Matt's office.
While Matt's still trying to shake off Jack's corporate stench, Suzanne enters with a sheepish wave. She stands across the room and just stares at Matt. He asks her about three times what's wrong, and she finally agrees to ask him something if he promises not to fire her. Instead of asking if she's suddenly infatuated with him too (which is what I was asking, because I know what show I'm watching), he assures her he won't fire her. She asks if he's high right now. Turns out Suzanne's mom was a fan of the Percocet when Suzanne was a kid. Matt tries to downplay it and says he only started because he got depressed after Harriet and Luke started dating. Oh, good, something else he can dump on Harriet. He says you can't be funny if you're depressed, and he couldn't afford to not be funny. He promises that as soon as they're on hiatus, he'll stop. Suzanne goes back to just looking at him, because he's exactly as full of shit as she thinks. "My mom said that when I was nine," she says. "And when I was ten, she slit her wrists." It gets to Matt, though his words don't reflect it. He assures Suzanne that he's fine, and it's awkward until Suzanne asks if Don Pardon't knows he said "Studio City." She's probably not fishing to see if Don is on drugs too, but who knows?













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