Down in the writers' room, poor Lucy looks absolutely wrecked as she sits silently in front of her open laptop. Dylan and Andy are doing the same thing when Simon walks in. He tells Lucy she can see Tom "soon," but not now, because he's in a state and "he doesn't want to take anything out" on her. Lucy is of the mind that Tom can take anything out on her that he wants; she's his girlfriend. That statement manages to sound way less domestic abuse-y on the screen. Simon asks where Darius is, and rather than saying "Doing press for Stomp the Yard," Lucy says he's with Tom's parents. I love that "with Tom's parents" has become code for "not appearing in this episode." It has a comforting sound to it, like we'll all be with Tom's parents in a couple of weeks. Andy tells Simon they're "searching for information" on the internet, but Dylan's surfing conservative web sites to see what they thought of the show. Turns out they didn't like the Tony Snow cold open. Simon wants them all to drop this line of conversation, but Lucy is amazed that, with all that's happening with Tom tonight, people would still be up for bashing him for his sketch. Dylan looks like he reads something especially disturbing, and he tells Lucy that seriously, she shouldn't ready any further. Before Andy can also chime in with a warning to the fragile little girl about what information she should expose herself to, Matt and Cal pop in.
Matt delivers the Jordan update: bleeding internally, should be fine, delivered the baby. The baby, says Matt, is "sixteen pounds, two ounces." Andy asks if perhaps Jordan gave birth to a tuna. Cal corrects that the baby weighs six pounds, two ounces. "Anything else?" asks Andy. Matt says no, but at Cal's prodding, he remembers that Danny and Jordan got engaged. Before we can settle on the thoroughly underwhelmed reactions of Andy, Dylan, and Simon, Lucy freaks out and throws her laptop across the room. She looks horrified, apologizes, and walks out. Simon reads the offending content, a poorly spelled (natch) post about how we should "face the facts" that Hollywood is the land of "liberals, fags, and traitors," and "you reap what you sew [sic]," and Tom's brother is paying the price for that. Dylan says the whole site is like that, though Simon notes a "subgenre" of posts suggesting the whole thing is a publicity stunt to boost S60's sagging ratings. ["'Subgenre'? Is this Dawson's Creek now?" -- Miss Alli] Matt says to forget it, and says that with the press surrounding the building, he and Danny want everyone to stay put. Simon suggests that they start writing some sketches about how well these "face the facts" people have served us. Cal says not this week, but Simon says it's been six years, and he doesn't think these "Toby Keith patriots" feel stupid enough yet. Cal puts his foot down, saying six years ago Matt "got sucked into this," and he doesn't want it to happen again, not to mention how they don't write to make other people feel stupid. Matt takes offense, though, saying he didn't get sucked into anything: "I walked in."