Inside, Matt's joined by Mary, who says Trask has found out that Mark and the other two are being held by a Taliban commander who has discovered the fine art of kidnapping for fun and profit. This is good news, because now they know this guy can be bought. Mary suggests Matt and Jack have a talk with "someone who knows what they're talking about." Before Matt can respond, he looks into the writers' room and sees everybody staring at Simon's face on TV. He's still yelling at the reporters, saying they were the ones who "helped get us into this." I assume he means "the war," but the war the press helped get us into wasn't really the one in Afghanistan, and that's the one he's hot about. He says they all forgot about Afghanistan when it stopped being sexy, because "like the rest of this country, you've got the attention span of a damn six-year-old." Ah, I know this sketch: Simon Stiles Yells At America. "This whole country is nothing but a bunch of idiot teenagers, and if every one of you was mowed down by friendly fire, I'd pop a bottle of Cristal." Then he storms on back inside. Okay, 1) where the fuck did Jeannie go, and why wasn't she throwing herself in front of Simon in order to shut him the hell up? And 2) Cristal? Way to be clichéd even when you're setting your career ablaze, Simon.
"Looks like we've got a whole new story," says Cal. Yeah, I suppose this is what we'll have to talk about next week. Two to go!