So anyway, Jordan tells Hallie that everybody else had an illiterate programming person, and Jack wanted her to have one too, and Hallie's like "alternative programming," and now you're up to date. Jordan intentionally forces Hallie to eat dirt by saying, "What did I say?" and Hallie very patiently repeats, "Illiterate programming." Jordan non-apologizes, blaming a "Tourette's thing" with a shit-eating grin. At this point, Kevin returns with what first appears to be Jordan's breakfast order, which he only left with thirty seconds ago. But no -- he is bringing another bowl of something, which Jordan explains is what she eats while waiting for food to arrive. Utterly committed to being as dismissive as she possibly can, Jordan now turns her attention from reading to eating so that she doesn't have to appear interested in the conversation with the new VP.

I am so grateful for the sweet, sweet relief of the cut to the writers' room, where Matt is asking Lucy, Darius, and Andy -- the other parts of the show's very realistic four-person writing team -- whether they know a book called The 48 Laws Of Power. Darius says that he does. Andy wants to know what it is. Matt says that it's "a pocket guide to being a leader of a crime organization." Matt reads off a few laws. Darius claims that this book is big "in the hip-hop community," and Matt wonders whether the hip-hop community is aware that all the guy who wrote it has ever done is...well, write a book. Hey, anybody can write a self-help book. Believe me.

Simon comes in at this point and calls Darius out into the hallway. Simon wants to talk to Darius about an idea for a new character out of Fruit Of The Loom -- a militant black African fruit. Whatever, you know what I mean. That's what the character is; I'm not working around you people. Simon tells Darius to tell Matt he wants to work on it. "Okay," Darius says, a little confused. Apparently, as a comedy writer, he doesn't get to decide whether he thinks the idea is...funny? Or something he's interested in? Did Simon become a writer at some point and gain the right to tell Darius what to do? Anyway, Simon walks off, satisfied. Or, really, self-satisfied.