Matt catches up with Suzanne, who says the bid is $2500, so Matt says to go to $2501. Also, Suzanne has found a pro-polyamory group that he can donate to, because that's the closest thing she's found to telling people to have sex. Is there something wrong with, say, Planned Parenthood? It seems so weird to me that the answer wouldn't be Planned Parenthood that I assume that's a political issue, that somehow it's not cool to show a character donating to Planned Parenthood. Otherwise...polyamory? Anyway, Matt is giving $2502 to the polyamorists.
Lucy and Simon are working on the militant fruit sketch, but she loses him when she uses the word "prat." Simon gets up and walks out. Elsewhere, Dylan Guy is pitching a character where he'll be a hefty gymnast to Darius and Andy. "Husky gymnast does a routine with a stick and a ribbon," McKinney suggests, and they laugh with certainty, because that is, apparently, gold. Just then, Simon pokes his head in and pulls Darius out of the meeting. When they're in the hallway, Simon starts to rail at Darius about ducking out of the Fruit Of The Loom assignment. "Mary Poppins is a perfect fit for this sketch," he says sarcastically, "but I gave it to you." Darius says that he just thought Simon wanted the idea to go to the writers' room, but Simon says Darius knew Simon wanted him to work on it. "And you blew it off to Lucy because you don't want to be the black guy," he declares. Wow. I sure hope he has some powerful evidence that that's true, because that is a hell of an accusation. "You're trading up. I'm not good enough to write for," Simon says. "Get your head out of your ass," he orders. "Yes, sir," Darius finally says. As Simon walks off, he has to make it worse by saying, "Damn thanks I get for saving you." Darius doesn't so much appreciate this, but Simon insists that he singlehandedly saved Darius. Even though it was Matt who heard Darius work and picked him out. Simon says he was "two hits in the head away from being nothing, okay?" "Is that right?" says Darius. "Yeah, that's right," says Simon. Darius pauses and his mood darkens considerably. Finally, he says in a low and assured tone, "Well, lordy, Massuh Simon, you sho' is good to us field n-----s. Aintcha?" How long I spent trying to figure out whether to type that or not, is how powerful it is for Darius to go to this place, and how forceful the line is for that reason. I'm not the arbiter of anyone's racial politics, but it seems to me that impugning another person's racial identity, as Simon did to Darius, or suggesting he's rejecting writing for you because you're black, is something that you would need a lot more to go on before you would say. But Simon decides he's the one with a legitimate bone to pick, so he's all, "You should walk away now." Which Darius does, but I don't think Simon convinced anyone he was right. Except himself, of course.