We begin at a tiny police station in the one American town that sounds the most like "Bumfuck" -- Pahrump, Nevada. Tom's run afoul of small-town law and Danny, Jack, Simon, a lawyer, and a Chinese investor and his daughter are there for...moral support, I guess, since they don't do a damn bit of good otherwise. Judge John Goodman -- who is wearing Kathy Bates's wardrobe from Primary Colors for some reason -- wants Tom to explain the charges of assault, possession of a controlled substance, speeding, and failure to appear. So, to the flashbacks we go! Seems Harriet ticked off the Departed wing of the Gay Mafia with a Page Six quote, and they dispatch some street-level ruffians to go hiss at her outside a diner. Tom tries to break things up and shoves the lead hooligay, who falls down. That'd be the "assault." The next day, the gang is working on a sketch where Jesus (Tom, in costume) heads up network Standards and Practices (don't ask), and Simon gives Tom his jacket because he's cold (don't ask). Of course, the jacket has a joint in the pocket, which isn't discovered until Tom is arrested for the "assault" and then extradited to Nevada for an old speeding ticket that never got paid. Simon really, really, really wants you to know that it's his joint. In other news, Jordan wants Danny to let Jack "win one" by putting up a fake fight before acquiescing to cutting the Jesus sketch. Jack doesn't want any favors, and he further admits Jordan's on mighty thin ice with the corporate muckity mucks. Oh, and the Chinese businessman's daughter wants to meet Tom, which is the highly plausible reason they end up in Pahrump as well. So as the hour ends, Stephen King's Desperation For Dummies is still at the judicial mercy of John Goodman, while Matt, Harriet, and the gang are looking at writing an alternate, Tom-and-Simon-less show. DUN!!! I guess.
Previously, Jordan got Ed Asner to back her decision and not Jack's re: Nations. Matt and Simon kidnapped a middling stand-up comedian from the 'hood. Harriet didn't think her status as a Christian in Hollywood was all that big a deal. And Ed Asner was looking to turn Macao, China into the Las Vegas of Asia.
Twangy guitars and a dusty parking lot clue us in to the fact that we're not in Hollywood anymore. A pair of cop cars in said parking lot clue us in to the fact that we're at a police station. And a helpful caption clues us in to the fact that it's Friday at 2:45 PM. Hey! It's almost Mancala Hour! Inside, Tom Jeter sits handcuffed and wearing what appears to be a burlap sack. He's also scratching his head, which makes me imagine that he's got head lice, his one sister has no shoes on, and his other sister is at home with an "I'm a stupid baby" sign taped to her back. ["You don't need to imagine where his brother is, of course: STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF AFGHANISTAN!!!!1!" -- Wing Chun] Twang, twang, twang. This police station looks like it's the place to be, because Danny's also there, as are Jack, and Simon. And a bald guy we haven't seen before but who I instinctively know is their lawyer because he was a lawyer on The Wire as well. ["And on The King Of Queens, if I'm picturing the same guy." -- Wing Chun] And an older Chinese gentleman, whose daughter is also there, translating for him. Tom's the only one in handcuffs, however. The daughter asks, on behalf of her dad, where they are, exactly, and Jack explains that they're in "Pahrump, Nevada," sixty miles west of Las Vegas. Doing the geography in his head, Chinese Dad wonders if this means Ed Asner, after turning Macao into the Las Vegas of Asia, plans to turn Hong Kong into the Pahrump of Asia, because if that's the case, they're going to have a problem. Okay, he doesn't actually say that, but it's all over his face. What he says is an acknowledgment that he knows what Las Vegas is: "Legal brothels?" Danny's all, "Don't look at me," and the youthful cop with the patently fake mustache (it's all the rage, I guess) pontificates about the brothel's role in Olde Tyme Pahrump infrastructure. The guitar twangs at this, because small-town folks shouldn't say "infrastructure."