Before Danny can rejoin the Big Board Brigade in Matt's office, he's waylaid by Tom and Dylan, who ask if they can plead their case for "Metric Conversion." "Sure," he says, but of course right as Tom begins, he turns and goes into Matt's office, closing the door behind him. Wah-wah. Inside, they're still 4:20 over time, and Danny and Cal ask Matt about cutting (or including?) a "Celebrity Poker" sketch. Well, considering that the window for making fun of celebrity poker closed about, oh, two years ago, it sounds like the perfect fit for Studio 60. Matt's so close to actually making a contribution to the job at hand, but at the last second, he flakes and says he needs to go ask "Diana Valdes" something. So that's Nelly Fur-not-o's name. I'm guessing she's still a maneater, though.
1999. It's one hour to when Tobolowsky needs all the proposed sketches from the writers, and Matt's freaking out. He asks one woman if she can help, but she's clearly got her own deadline to meet. And another writer is napping on the couch, like, no wonder Matt hates all writers. He heads out to the hallway, asking anyone if they can help him out, and he comes upon one Simon Stiles, who's assed out on a couch. He's been waiting for his audition with Wes Mendel for over six hours. Matt tells him that Wes likes to fuck with "people he likes" and see how they can handle "chaos." Not sure how chaotic sitting on a couch for six hours is. Some people call that "Sundays during football season." Simon's riding the edge of "severely pissed off" as a result. Matt says that he recognizes him from some Yale drama thing or another and asks if maybe he'd be willing to take a look at his script. Simon begs off, since he's got the biggest audition of his life "six hours ago."
Matt's halfway around the corner looking for someone else when Simon calls him back. The sketch is called "Being Neve Campbell" (Being John Malkovich wouldn't premiere for another month, but whatever), and it's essentially a Party Of Five parody with Harriet as Neve Campbell. Of course, with Jennifer Love Hewitt as the host, you'd figure a Party Of Five (or Time Of Your Life?) parody would already be in the works, written by one of the senior writers, in which case Matt would be utterly pissing into the wind at this point. Which he is. Simon notices Harriet's name on the cast list and asks if Matt's stupid or in love with her, since she's a newbie and thus doesn't stand much chance having a sketch on the air. He says that Matt writes like he's on a first date: "Look at all the words I know!" Before Simon can unleash any other cutting remarks in Matt's direction, he's called into Wes's office. Matt wishes Simon luck and assures him that Matt's going to take another pass at the sketch. Then he picks up a ball of some sort that's just kind of sitting on a banister (naturally) and starts bouncing it.