On the red carpet, Harriet and Sam pose for photos. Harry's wondering where Jordan went off to -- she's been MIA since Danny asked to talk to her. Sam wonders what's going on between those two, a question on the lips of all of America, if the Studio 60 promos are anything to be believed. Harriet suggests that they clam it until they're not two feet from a throng of reporters. Out of that throng emerges Matt, looking good in a black and blue suit I'm not sure I entirely approve of in most cases, but he makes it work nonetheless. The paparazzi ask for a photo op, and Matt shoves Sam out of the way so that America can get a good look at how much Luke Scott is not with Harriet at the present moment. Harriet asks what he's doing there, and Matt explains, "I won you. Well, I didn't win you, but I tied." Harriet thinks that this was a very sweet gesture, at least until Matt asks where Luke is. Harriet's all, "Luke?" Matt says that Luke was the other guy bidding. However! There's a handler who approaches with a greasy little skater punk who would beg to differ. She introduces Harriet to "Cody Kyle," the other winner of the auction. "You're 'lukes5858'?" Matt asks. "Star Wars, dude," says Skater Punk. They share a moment of nerd bonding as Matt says that the Skywalker Ranch is located at "5858 Lucas Valley Road." Dude. No more making fun of the internet for ol' Matty. "Who are you?" Skater Punk asks. "He's BossSexy!" Harriet brights. Hey, lady spends the entire episode getting pulled like a tug-of-war rope. She's gotta get her kicks somehow. She asks how old Skater Punk is. "Fifteen going-on," he says. "Doorstep of my sexual prime." "Hey, me too," laughs Harriet. Man, sketch comedians get all the teenage tail. In case you, like Matt, were wondering where Skater Punk got his money, he's apparently this famous X-Games snowboarder. One can only hope that one day he fulfills his dream of getting a show on MTV where he and his friends put their balls on things. Harriet asks which one of her "boys" would like to escort her to her seat. Skater Punk's arm shoots straight up: "I call it!" Matt tries to scoff him to death, but Harriet's not in the mood. "Sorry, Matthew," she quips. "He called it."
At Tom's Table of Nightmares, Kim's doing tequila shots like it's her job. Oh, and according to Tom, she's twenty. I was about to say that twenty is a bit too old to be having schoolgirl crushes and changing up career paths just to get with a guy, but then I remembered college. Tom feels compelled to remind Kim that the drinking age is twenty-one. "What's the age for taking you back to my room and dancing for you?" she purrs. Simon, the devil over Tom's shoulder, pipes up: "Eighteen." Tom changes tactics: "Let's talk about you and the viola." But Kim's having none of that and would rather discuss Tom's "cute ass." Wouldn't we all, girlie, but the rest of us adults have jobs to do.