Up at the NBS offices, Jack is meeting with Jordan, Hallie, and a team of anonymous underlings to discuss the feasibility of All You Need Is Love, that wretchedly-titled example of all that is sucky about reality television. It's about to lose that wretched title, though, since apparently there already was a show called All You Need Is Love. Jordan is, like last week, acting like a bratty child, and tells Hallie that "it was a great idea, anyway, better luck next time." Jack, reading my mind, tells her to shut up and lets Hallie continue. Hallie pitches a story about a gang member who paralyzed a kid in a drive-by and is now out of prison and a born-again Christian, while the paralyzed kid is starting med school. Both are eager to make peace, but the paralyzed kid's grandma has vowed to kill the gang member if she ever sees him again. Jordan asks how old the grandma is -- she's eighty-seven -- and then suggests that she and the gang member "do it." You know, much as I get on Sorkin's case for presenting a deluded, bitter, and generally inaccurate portrait of the current state of reality TV, I should mention that Jordan's comment there wasn't entirely off the mark, in that the concept of degenerates having sex with a senior citizen on TV is pretty much the entire point of Flavor Of Love. Anyway, Jordan's smiling at Jack like she expects him to high-five her for this latest bon mot, but he just ignores her, as you ignore any petulant child. Jordan kicks it to Sales, representatives of which say they "love it." "What are the odds?" sighs Jordan, as she actually puts her head in her hands at the stupidity and poor taste of everybody else in the entire universe. I'm sorry you have to exist on the same plane as the rest of us, sweetie. You just lie down until we evolve to your higher state of being. Anyway, lots of logistical talk -- including a demographic study that states that "adults eighteen to thirty-four are increasingly concerned with being good and doing good," which I found hilariously weird -- and more sniping from Jordan On High, until Jack blessedly adjourns the meeting with a reminder to everyone: "Don't kid yourselves," Jordan is the final word on this.
Once everyone has left his office, Jack reminds Jordan that she most decidedly is not the final word on this, since the show will turn up on NBS's May sweeps schedule whether she likes it or not. They bicker about whose fault the Dracula fall-apart was, and then Jordan guesses that things didn't go well in New York. Jack fills her in on Ed Asner, the TMG board, Macao, and the FCC. Jordan has an idea, though: Jack should talk to Zhang Tao and have him balk at the Macao deal unless they keep Asner on board. Jack tells her that he's about half an episode ahead of her at this point, and then he fills her in on the situation involving Kim, Tom, Juilliard, and the Harriet Dinner Thursday night, which I'd hyperlink except it was, like, two scenes ago. They couldn't have had this conversation off-camera? Jordan says that she, too, is going to the dinner -- for Catholics in Media, in case you'd forgotten -- and then she catches Jack up on all the Matt, Harriet, BossSexy, date auction, Women United Through Abstinence Education stuff that happened last week. I'd complain about all the tedious repetition, except it's making this episode a breeze to recap so far. To recap: Jordan's going to the dinner, Jack is too. Got it? Turning to leave, Jordan asks, "When the time is good, you're going to tell me why you brought Hallie here, right?" Jack looks annoyed, like he's winding up to give it to Jordan right between the eyes with the exact reason he brought Hallie onboard. But the he pulls back and starts over, saying that Hallie is at NBS to run alternative programming -- nothing more, nothing less. ["And I didn't get to interject this last week, but an actual network head of alternative programming runs reality programming as well as specials, tributes (like an AFI thing), and basically everything that isn't either a drama or a sitcom. In other words, in real life, Hallie would be in charge of...Studio 60. But if THAT were what was behind Jordan's attitude toward Hallie, she would look (marginally) more professional and like (marginally) less of a crazy bitch." -- Wing Chun] Jordan leaves somewhat less than satisfied (she was expecting what? That Hallie has leukemia and this was her Make A Wish Foundation dream come true?), and Jack looks like he's harboring SECRETS.