Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
The Harriet Dinner, Part I

Episode Report Card
Joe R: C | 1 USERS: A+
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Up On The Roof

Elsewhere in Los Angeles, Harriet is on set and in character as Anita Pallenberg, straddling her ersatz Keith Richards. They're rehearsing, not filming, which you can tell because Harriet playfully pushes Luke's face away as he watches her seduce her co-star. Co-star wants to make sure they're really going to paint his eyes black when it comes time to shoot the scene, because he's super method, man, and needs to experience what Keith experienced, blah blah. Harriet's soon finished, just in time to head back to the studio for her "night job." Luke pulls her outside for a few words before she goes, and asks her to dinner on Thursday, but she's got the Catholics in Media dinner that night. Luke becomes the hundredth person to point out that Harriet is not, in fact, Catholic, winning him the door prize. Of course, that door prize is a $100 donation in his name to Women United Through Scaring Kids About Sex. Sorry, Luke. He offers to come by after the dinner, to take her for drinks, but he sees by the look on Harriet's face that that's not going to happen either. She tells him that friends of Matt's saw them together at the New Year's Eve shindig they went to, and Luke, quite rightly, is like, "So?" Harriet brushes it off as "just mentioning it," and by now even she has to understand how she sounds, relaying "stay away from my girl" messages from one non-boyfriend to the next. "Can I be your priest for a second?" Luke asks. Like that's gonna get him in her pants any faster; she just said she's not Catholic. He lays this bit of wisdom on her: "You and Matt broke up a long time ago. Except you see each other at work, and you do his show every Friday night. Breaking up hasn't broken you up; it's just become a new condition of your relationship, and it's comfortable now." He asks her whether, ultimately, she doesn't want a lot more out of a relationship. I'd bitch about this being yet another instance where a male character gives the object of his affection the "come to Jesus" speech about how she should be conducting her life, except Luke's pretty much right on. But you'll slip up some time, Luke Scott! And I'll be waiting.

Studio. The deadly, deadly vipers are slithering all around this spookily-lit set, and I still have not the first clue what this fake commercial is supposed to be about, nor do I care. Cal calls "cut" and asks Bevo if he can take out some of the snakes in order to see the whatever whatever in the scene better. Bevo's on the phone right now, probably bitching to someone to other about how the internet ruined Snakes On A Plane. Actually, it's much more important than that: he's checking back with home base to see how many snakes he brought with him to the studio today. Snake Central says twenty-four, but Bevo only sees twenty-three. Uh-oh. Bevo asks if there is anywhere a snake might be able to slither off to and hide. In the ninety-year-old theatre. Yeah. "There's a loose poisonous viper in the building?!" Cal scream-whispers. Tom's all, "Excuse me?" Cal says that's "slang," and clears the set. Bevo says that a runaway snake will leave a trail, and Cal's worried that trail might lead right up to Danny's office. Matt passes by as a jittery Cal is all, "Hey! Snakes? What? No snakes!"

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Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

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