Matt meets up with Suzanne, who has an update: the auction's over and it ended in a tie. They -- Women United Through Scaring Kids About Sex, apparently -- were so moved by the generosity of BossSexy and lukes5858 that they declared it a tie: both will escort Harriet to her dinner. "Are you kidding me?" says Matt, despondent that Luke still gets to win. "It's a tie?" he says, which is redundant yet felicitous, considering that Harriet walks by at that very moment. "What's a tie?" she asks, and he says her auction is. It sounds like it was actually Harriet's idea to allow the auction to end in a tie; that way the church gets twice the money. Does this mean Matt will have to redouble his donation to I Adore Polyamour? At this point, I thought it was possible that Harriet had found out about Matt and Luke and devised the triple date in order to have her "I choose me" moment at the dinner. (Spoiler: that's not what happens.) Harriet very abruptly takes her leave, and Suzanne tells Matt that "the sex people" would like some clips for a tribute reel. Wait, they have an awards ceremony now? Just, like, Matt and Hef and then a whole lot of cult members? Matt chews his lip off and maybe wonders the same thing. Probably not.
Bevo continues talking like Sling Blade as he uncovers a grate the snake apparently escaped into; this kind of thing apparently happens "all the time." The next logical step would be to send a ferret in after it. Pity the poor mongoose, who has fallen so out of favor that it doesn't even merit a good Rudyard Kipling reference here. There's some haggling over the price tag of $6,000 for the snake the ferret's going to kill, but...seriously, whatever. It's nice that Timothy Busfield got a subplot where he gets to be all jittery and funny, but I'm not going to care about a snake loose in the studio. And Bevo's starting to sound like an American Idol auditioner. Not good.
After the commercial, it's Thursday, and...oh God, more snakes. So now it's been two days, and they've had no luck with the ferret yet. Bevo's got a camera on a wire of some sort that he's lowered into the grate, but there's still no sign of the snake. Danny calls to Cal from his balcony perch, and Cal yelps something about an electrical problem. Danny's placated, and thanks Cal for saving him money on the inscrutable fake commercial.
Back upstairs, Danny runs into Matt, who's got a bug up his ass about the Masi Oka promo where Harriet used the dolphin voice. Danny says that it's funny and people like it, but Matt's not crazy about a voice that hasn't even been used in a sketch yet not being kept under wraps. Sweet Jesus, I agree with Matt here. Of course, Danny's already pulled the commercial, and Matt's still bitching about it, so he's annoying again. Whew! Danny's office is being painted, so we're all hanging out in the hallway as Danny says he's waiting to see Jordan so that he can "talk to her." "You know you don't have anything to apologize for," says Matt. Which makes sense because, if you're Matt, being all stalky and possessive toward a girl you like and work with without any regard for her professional or personal well-being is something you never have to apologize for. Repeatedly. Danny asks whether Matt knows who "that guy down there with Cal" is, since he seems familiar.