Outside, Harriet's on the phone with someone-or-other, wondering where Jordan is. She hangs up in time for Matt to approach with an accusation about the Darren Wells baseball bat incident, wondering if that's the same kind of passive-aggressive crap Harriet's giving him hell for. Harriet begins to apologize for it -- "to the extent that I was responsible" -- but Matt's having none of that. He yells at Harriet about "accountability," and she fires back that she was hurt by the Jeannie thing. Matt tries to change the subject, but Harriet won't have it: "You went out with my friend." Matt bites off that Harriet doesn't get to be "the star of every show," and that he didn't go out with Jeannie because she was Harriet's friend; he went out with her because she was his friend: "But let me ask you, if this is the subject: I never proposed to you." "Yes," says Harriet. "That's the subject." Whatever, I'm checking out of this whole argument. Allowing tensions that have built up over half a season to boil over is one thing. Now it's because Matt never asker Harriet to marry him? Sorry. Matt is annoyed and says that if they could have ever gone so much as six months without an "eruption" like this, they'd have been picking out preschools by now. Harriet looks half-furious and half-sad and says, "That's the worst lie you've ever told." The Catholics in Media woman approaches and says that it's almost time for Matt to present Harriet with her award. Has he come up with anything to say? "He'll be fine," says Harriet, choked up. "He's good on his feet."
After the commercial, we see that the Catholics in Media lady is a total liar, because instead of the award presentation, we have to listen to Natalie Cole sing "I Say A Little Prayer For You." Like I won't be getting my fill of Bacharach on the other show I'm recapping this season. Instead of being polite and listening to the lovely woman who's singing at a benefit in her honor, Harriet decides she and Matt should continue their resentment spectacle. Matt is still baffled that they're even having this fight, which is maybe the thing that most makes me want to give him a flick in the eyeball. He can't get over how unimpressed Harriet was at the date auction thing. She wants to know what "eruptions" Matt was talking about back outside: for the last five months, Matt wasn't blaming the "eruptions" for their not being together; he's been blaming "the show." Matt continues to stress that the show is the reason he and Harriet are not together, and he runs down the laundry list of every single person involved in the show as people who would be affected negatively if they were both dating and working together, concluding, "I landed in this thing. I didn't ask for it." But Harriet's the one who needs to be taking accountability, right? Harriet says that they broke up two weeks before he "landed in it," so what the hell? Matt says that they broke up all the time before! And that last one occurred when Harriet was "so filled with the spirit of the Lord" that she "sang a few ballads for people who throw rocks at pregnant teens!" Harriet's like, "So that wasn't an eruption, that was just me being a whackjob." "I never cared," Matt scoffs, "that you were a whackjob." Harriet, rightly pissed, spits, "I can't believe I haven't shown more gratitude for that." Matt, fed up, says he thinks what's happening is that Harriet can't walk away, so she's "burning the house down." Harriet realizes that's exactly what she's doing and says, "Yes." So now they're both gobsmacked, since Matt still wants to argue and Harriet simply wants to end it. Matt tries a different tactic, asking her, "All the times I said I loved you, you think I was lying?" Harriet, sadly: "Yeah." Matt says that's "disappointing." Harriet looks away, about to cry, just in time to get called up to the stage.