Over in the Subplot of Co-Ed Abduction, Tom hasn't been able to find Jack yet. Simon has moderately more success getting Kim to wake up, and she woozily says that she loves Simon on the news. Tom cuts the ego-stroking short and tries to get things back on point: he needs to take Kim back to her hotel room. Kim: "Yeah, baby!" No, no. He needs to know what hotel she's staying at. But beyond the fact that it's a "nice one," Kim either has no idea or is in no condition to recall it. She starts to relay some random viola-playing factoid to Tom when her phone rings. Tom answers to hear Zhang Tao's rather angry-sounding tones. "It's her father!" Tom freaks. "Hang up, hang up!" says Simon. Tom hangs up and throws the phone down like it's full of killer bees. He looks at Simon, wide-eyed: "What the hell just happened?"
Back on the roof, Jordan is writing a lengthy and overly-detailed note to the (though she still can't say the words) homeless person down in the alley, hoping that he'll read it and get them help. Danny continues to mock her for not being able to say "bum." For Christ's sake: homeless person! Say "homeless person." Why create this false conflict between "bum" and "overly PC drivel" when there's a perfectly acceptable middle ground? And if you're wondering why I'm focusing on the least consequential aspect of this scene, it's so I don't have to pay attention, once again, to Danny and Jordan doing the dance of I love you/no you don't/Yes I so do, and you can't stop me. ["Can I put in a vote for 'hobo'?" -- Wing Chun] Talk turns to Danny's dumbfuck letters of recommendation, and Danny says that "a lot of women would've found tat charming." "'A lot of women'?" asks Jordan. "They usually do, do they?" Danny tells her, "You can reject me or be jealous of me, but you can't do both." Two things: (a) Jealous of you, or jealous over you? Because the former, which is what Danny said, implies that Jordan wishes she got all the female tail Danny seems to think he pulls. I suspect he means the latter, which is also dumb because (b) Jordan's mocking Danny's lame-ass courting tactics isn't quite the same as being jealous. I have to say, I do appreciate how Danny's character has been consistently written as a dickhead, since Episode 1. It's been as unwavering a portrait of petty smugness as anything on TV save for Jeff Probst. Kudos.
Jordan changes tactics, because she's officially no longer "not interested" in Danny so much as "waiting for him to convince her otherwise." She says, "You understand why I can't go out with you, don't you?" Danny, obviously, says that he does not. And rather than say that it's because of her job as his boss, or say that it's because his personality is childish and overbearing, or say that it's because he's aging and balding and she's still in the prime of her youth, Jordan instead blames it on the pregnancy. She's pregnant "with another man's baby." Danny's all, "Yeah, I don't see him around, do you?" I'm sorry, who's jealous now? Jordan asks Danny if he's looking to be a surrogate father, and before he's even able to fully deflect that question, she's on to the next one: "Is the attraction physical?" Ah, yes. We've progressed to the "tell me I'm pretty" phase of Jordan's backslide. Danny, ever the charmer, points out that Jordan's currently "the size of a minivan." Straight guys, a free tip from me to you: when addressing your lady love, the phrase "you're the size of a..." should never come out of your mouth. There's no way that sentence ends without pain. Jordan defensively says that she's a very nice-looking pregnant lady -- "glowing" even. "Yes, you are," Danny patronizes. What a prince, you guys, seriously. Jordan pitches her note over the side of the building, and it doesn't land within a country mile of our sleeping homeless person. Like he's not totally awake and ignoring the two irritating jackasses on the roof anyway.